4 Ways To Manage Conflict

Managing conflict is key for a happy career.

If you're like me, you probably try to avoid conflict as much as possible. No one wants to get sucked into a pit of negativity, but when there are things going on that are upsetting to you, not addressing them will just let them simmer until one day it all boils over. That's why it's really important to be able to manage conflict productively.

Especially when you start a new job, you'll have to get used to new co-workers, new bosses, new procedures and new responsibilities all at once. It can be very stressful and, if you aren't able to manage the situation at the beginning, you will run the risk of making your new co-workers think that you are a raving lunatic.

In order to help, here are 4 ways to manage conflict, both at work and in your personal life. Keep in mind that the goal isn't to be right or punish the other person. The only real goal is to find a way to make things better for everyone involved.

Know yourself - We all have things that really set us off. When you know what your triggers are you can take steps to keep calm. Pay attention to your body. If you are clenching your teeth, feel your face getting hot or you shoulders tighten, it's a clue that you need to take a deep breath and focus on the positive.

Just breathe - If you think you're going to snap, just take a moment and breathe. The old adage about taking a deep breath and counting to ten still works. Getting oxygen to your brain helps break up the adrenalin and can help you think more clearly. Use this time to calm down and think about things rationally. Nothing will be accomplished if you loose your cool.

Reassess - If you are fighting with someone or are stuck in an argument, take a mental time out to reassess the situation. Ask yourself what is really important. What do you want to happen? What will make you happy? Are you more concerned about being right or being the winner? Get a clear idea of what you want to happen and then look for ways that both parties can get what they need.

Listen - Let the other person know that you have positive intentions and that you want to find a way to compromise. Then listen. Put real energy into trying to see things from their point of view. Try to understand what they want and what is important to them. This will help you find common ground in order to make the best compromise.

Just taking a time out and not letting yourself be controlled by emotions is a huge first step. When I am angry and arguing with someone, many times I have asked myself if I want to find a resolution or if I just want to be right. Sometimes, I just want to be right. Knowing that, I can let the anger go and move on to finding a real solution.

What do you do to manage conflict? Please share your thoughts and tips in the comment section.

By Melissa Kennedy- Melissa is a 9 year blog veteran and a freelance writer for BusinessWorkForceBlog and Nexxt. Along with helping others find the job of their dreams, she enjoys computer geekery, raising a teenager, supporting her local library, writing about herself in the third person and working on her next novel.