Getting Honest Feedback After a Failed Interview

John Krautzel
Posted by in Career Advice


Overreacting to a failed interview can prevent you from making progress in your job search. If you take emotion out of the equation, you can calmly ask the hiring manager for honest feedback about your weaknesses. While recruiters value self-starters, they're also reluctant to cause conflict with rejected candidates who feel misjudged. Handle rejections gracefully to maintain a positive image with hiring managers and keep the door open for future opportunities.

Replay the Interview in Your Mind

Self-evaluation is the first hurdle after a bad interview, as it challenges you to look at your behavior, speech and appearance from the perspective of a potential employer. Your laser focus during an interview may reduce your perception of warning signs, such as a bored or unimpressed hiring manager. Did you prepare detailed answers to common behavioral questions? Did you wear attire suitable for the company culture and maintain a professional demeanor? Did you ask thoughtful questions at the end of the interview? Reviewing the session can help you identify areas where you went wrong so you're less likely to get emotional when you hear criticism from recruiters.

Accept the Loss, and Move Forward

Getting useful interview feedback can be difficult because hiring managers don't want to argue with angry candidates about why they didn't get the job. Whether hiring from within or outside the company, a recruiter's well-intentioned honesty can open the door to HR battles or discrimination claims. With this in mind, prepare yourself for vague or evasive answers, and don't push for more if hiring managers are clearly uncomfortable with providing details.

Put the hiring manager at ease by making it clear that you accept the rejection and only want tips for self-improvement. An example statement is, "I understand that you're moving forward with another candidate, and I appreciate you making time to speak with me again. However, I am still deeply interested in your company and would value feedback about my interview. What advice would you give me to be more successful in the future?"

This example is reassuring because it removes blame from the hiring manager while expressing humility and gratitude, qualities most employers admire in potential candidates. Asking for advice also lets recruiters focus on what you can do going forward, instead of pushing her into dangerous territory by prompting her to list your flaws.

Be Receptive and Proactive

Thank recruiters for interview feedback, whether you agree or not, as the employer may have other job openings, or a top candidate may not work out for the position. Let the hiring manager know you plan to work on your weaknesses and want to be considered for future positions. If the rejection was behavioral and unrelated to your qualifications, practice interviewing with a career coach or a friend. Videotape the sessions, and pay close attention to comments and body language that make you appear lazy, negative or uninterested.

Job interviews don't always go well, but you can take reparative steps to show the hiring manager you can bounce back and improve. Avoid the initial urge to internalize a job rejection, and instead turn an outwardly discouraging interview experience into an opportunity to network and build deeper relationships in the industry.


Photo courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson

    @Richie thanks for your comment. Couldn't agree more. I am from the school of thought as you. If the hiring manager and/or HR can not take a minute to send an email to me regarding the interview I had with them, I certainly would not want to work for them. If I take the time to send a thank you note and they don't respond - move on. Personally, if I don't hear back within a week of the interview, I close that job out and move on to the next. If they come back to me later on, then I can decide if I wish to open back up to that company or not.

  • Richie P.
    Richie P.

    The problem I see with no feedback is that the hiring manager or HR manager is the front line for a first impression of the company. If they don't show courtesy toward the applicant during this initial impressionable time, it makes the company appear uncaring. I can't help but wonder if they don't care for me now, will they care for me if they hire me? I know every applicant can't and won't be sent a custom letter detailing a rejection, but at least a canned letter is confirmation that your application has been addressed so they can move on. With no feedback yea or nay, the suspense just adds to the frustration of the modern day job search. I personally like the closure of knowing for sure where I stand.

  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson

    @Robert thanks for your comment. You can protest on here at any time! It really is a sad commentary on our times that companies act the way that they do. I agree that, if you don't get the job, the hiring manager should be able to tell you - and tell you with more than the canned response "although your credentials were impressive we have decided to go with another candidate". And I hate to say that this is the way of our world today but it truly is. Think about it. In the past you would have gone to a recruiter - in person. You would go through your resume and clean it up and then that recruiter would get busy finding you employment. Communications used to be over the phone or in person but today it's through email or some other form of communication where you don't have to see each other. Everything is so impersonal. I liked it better in the old days when we would write up a resume and cover letter and mail it to the hiring company. Even if we weren't chosen for an interview, we would get a letter back (albeit a canned letter). Today - silence. Sometimes I, too, long for the old days.

  • Robert M.
    Robert M.

    @Nancy. I appreciate your comments too. They are very legitimate and on point. I am afraid, however, that I must continue to respectfully disagree that most recruiters and hiring managers are not cowards that hide behind their canned emails in order to avoid any uncomfortable conversations about why a particular candidate was not chosen. I frankly cannot see how any ethical recruiter would not provide this feedback unless they are either scared or hiding something. It simply makes no sense. It is very easy to acquiesce to wrong behavior by saying "it's just how things are done today." The road to totalitarianism is paved with a million tiny bricks of tiny acquiescences. I may not be able to change the system, but I will not remain silent while I am discarded as casually as an old pair of shoes by recruiters and hiring managers. I have more pride in myself, my skills, and abilities than that. I have formed my opinion over the last several years. I am enployed now and have been continously but I do to seek new opportunities sometimes. The real problem is that we have a society that does not believe that respect for other people is essential. The behavior of recruiters and hiring managers proves that time and time again, and as members of modern society we just acquiesce and move on. And then we wonder why things are so bad. If the only thing I can do is protest on a job board then that is what I will do. But at least I did something.

  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson

    @Robert thanks for your comment. I can certainly hear your frustration. Truly is sad that the world is the way it is but - there you have it. I am sort of on the fence when it comes to feedback as to why I didn't get the job. Sure it would be great to know why IF they actually tell you the reason why. Hiring managers certainly can respond and their canned response is "although your credentials were impressive, we have decided to go with another candidate." End of story. They won't tell you anymore than that so why even bother? I don't believe that it's cowardice or that they have something to hide. It's always been this way. The difference now is that we have social media to spool things up. I think back to interviews that I have had and honestly, I know when I am not going to get a call. You can feel it so why bother asking why? If the hiring manager told you that he wanted to make an offer, then that's a different story. Certainly I would be following up right away. If, after telling me that I got the job, the hiring manager becomes silent refusing to speak with me or respond to an email - I move on. Why would I want to work for someone who would act like that? So @Robert, you have to look at it from all angles. The bottom line is that 9 times out of 10, the hiring manager is not going to respond to your phone calls or emails. Time to move on.

  • Fred K.
    Fred K.

    So helpful thank you

  • Robert M.
    Robert M.

    There is no legitimate reason for not responding to a candidates reasonable an polite request for why he or she did not get the job. The bottom line is that the candidate did not get the job for a reason so if there is nothing to hide then there is no reason to not discuss it. There is no legitimate reason to not offer that feedback. Recruiters, HR "professionals," and hiring managers who do not engage in discussing this kind of feedback are either hiding something or are cowardly. Its probably a combination of both. How can a company be sued for finding a better qualified candidate? A company can only be sued if they are engaging in discriminatory or other illegal practices. If a company does not engage in these practices then why not just tell a candidate that they found a better qualified candidate? @ Nancy Anderson, anyone can apologize for it and make as many excuses as they want but the bottom line is that it is despicable behavior on the part of hiring managers and recruiters. Any way you slice it not engaging a candidate on why he or she was not hired out of fear of being sued is cowardice. Of course, that presupposes that the candidate is qualified for the job in the first place and that he or she is polite and professional in the process and his or her inquiries. A discussion between two adults is highly unlikely to lead to a lawsuit of any kind. There is just no legitimate reason to not respond to a request for further explanation unless a hiring manager is either hiding something or too cowardly to do it. If a recruiter or hiring manager is unable or unwilling to handle an uncomfortable conversation with a job candidate then why is that person even in the position in the first place? These companies engage in this sort of cowardly and despicable behavior and the best we can do is look for reasons to justify it. There is no justification for it. Its not the fault of the legal environment or the 2007/2008 financial crisis. Its just despicable behavior, nothing more and nothing less, and the more we all look for reasons to justify it and apologize for it it will continue.

  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson

    Thanks for the great comments. @Richie P I can hear your pain and wish there was something that could be done to change the way we are treated in the job process. It is true that it seems to be degrading a bit more each year. Prior to the economic meltdown, HR and hiring managers did not act like this. Well, some of them did, but the majority of them would get back to with an answer. Since about 2007/2008, companies have changed their policies when it comes to recruiting. Can't blame them - at least in part. They receive thousands of emails just for one position and they had to find a way to still function under totally difference circumstances. They are interviewing more applicants than ever before which makes it tough for the feedback. I don't think it's because they are uncaring or that they are hiding. They are simply trying to function in a different dynamic. Put yourself in the hiring manager's shoes. If you had back to back interviews every day until you found that one near perfect match as @Melanie mentioned, you, too, would probably not get back to every one of the candidates as to why they didn't get chosen. Would you rather get a canned response? Personally a canned response doesn't do anything for me. As soon as I see the words "but we have found", I don't even finish reading the email. I just delete it and close out the job in my spreadsheet knowing never to send another application to them. Yes I, too, have been told that due to "legalities", they can not comment on why I did not get the position. I think that part is "hiding". But honestly, it has always been that way. If you have been in the job field for more than 10 years, you know that even before you did not always receive a reason or a response when asked why you didn't get the job. It's just that now, everything is done online and has become so impersonal. But I am not trying to discourage anyone from following up after an interview. Try it. @Melanie found a way in. Maybe more of us could try that. Many people have mentioned 57 being the new retirement age. Very frustrating to know that you have the skills and talent that the company is looking for but not being able to get your foot in the door for that interview. Keep looking because the jobs are there. Before you apply, check out the company. See if you can find out about the employees who work there. Are they all young? If so, then it's probably a waste of time to apply. If they have good representation of all age groups, then, by all means get your application in and follow up on it. Companies DO hire us older workers. We may not be hired in the same type of position as we held but maybe it's time to shake things up. Try for something completely different and see what happens. Just like orange is the new black, 57 can be the new 37! Best of luck to all.

  • MELANIE D.
    MELANIE D.

    I received the canned "rejection letter" following an interview I thought I had knocked out of the park. Instead of being grateful to have received the letter which companies do not often send anymore, I decided to take another approach. I called one of the gentlemen I interviewed with and offered my congratulations on finding the candidate they were looking for. I then said something to the effect of "I hope I am not catching you at a bad time, but could I have a few minutes to speak with you? I thought our meeting went very well, and was surprised that I was not called back for the next round of interviews. I know this is an awkward question, but could you offer some candid feedback so that I can reevaluate how I handle the next interview?" Then I just listened to what he had to say...writing down his comments. I thanked him for his time and told him I appreciate his willingness to speak with me. Fortunately, the feedback I received was good--There was simply a near perfect match for the job and they decided not to draw out the process with another round of interviews.

  • JODI J.
    JODI J.

    I am very frustrated as well, I did not understand why I did not get the job. My credentials speak for themselves that I am highly qualified for the positions that I have applied for. Like Ritchie P. I have a little more than ten years until retirement and feel these companies do not see the talent that we can bring their companies. It seems that so many places are unapproachable. I apply online to only hear no response or a computer generated reply. Does any one have any advice how to get around this and actually talk to someone?

  • Robert M.
    Robert M.

    I have yet to find a recruiter or hiring manager that has the moral courage to actually talk to me and offer suggestions for improvement or discuss why I was not chosen for a particular position. Recruiters and hiring managers are cowards who hide behind their emails (which avoids either face to face or verbal communication) and canned responses that say little or nothing. @ Wayne Self, it's not the legal environment either (although one could argue that fear of being sued over such trivialities as offering suggestions for improvement when asked for those suggestions is itself a form of cowardice), it is a reflection of the continuing degradation of business ethics and the lack basic human decency and moral courage in business. In today's society, business treats people like commodities, not like human beings, and recruiters, HR "professionals," and hiring managers are the primary instigators. Until people in these positions get some courage and stop making excuses there will be no end.

  • Richie P.
    Richie P.

    If I am to consider those who do not respond with feedback from the job as questionable to work for, that means everyone I have interviewed with so far meets that criteria. Someone earlier mentioned the U.S. needed to set the retirement age at 57. They are probably right. I currently have roughly ten years to work but can't find employment to help finish paying off my debt before my retirement. Thinking of unthinkable options at this point, as my chances of securing employment are rapidly vanishing.

  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson

    @Gary and @Meri thanks for your comments. It's unfortunate that companies act this way. As I mentioned before - it's not firm until you have an offer in your hand. No matter what is said in the interview, it means nothing until you can see the offer. As I mentioned, even if an interviewer told me I had the job and he would be in touch, I continue job searching because I am not seeing the offer. Bottom line is that nothing is firm until you have the offer in your hand. Best of luck in your job search.

  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson

    Thanks for the great comments. So sad that companies treat people that way. @Wayne I do agree that it's more of a legal issue but still, you would think that they could offer something to a person who thinks they have the job and is waiting to find out when they start. From personal experience, unless they congratulate me and take me to HR to start the hiring process, I continue applying. @David it's not firm until you have a valid offer in your hands. Never stop searching until that time. In addition, you have to think hard if you want to work for a company that would treat you that way. If they do that in the hiring process, how do you think that the day to day would be working for them? @Craig good for you for asking about reservations. Many of our job seekers are afraid to do that simply because it makes them vulnerable. But I think it's great and would ask that question every time. I, also, hate the canned response that "although your credentials were impressive, we have decided to go with another more qualified candidate". If you try to ask why that was and how you can improve.... nothing but silence. Makes you wonder how they would feel if the shoe was on the other foot!!!!

  • Craig A.
    Craig A.

    Cont'd.... After not receiving a callback I reached back out to the HR recruiter to ask for feedback only to have them say that their policy did not permit such replies or some lame excuse about "another more qualified candidate". In other words nothing of value to use for improving

  • Craig A.
    Craig A.

    Couldn't agree more with previous comments. During my last transitional search I was fortunate to have a dozen or so interviews before receiving an offer. Before leaving each I asked what reservations on my qualifications or presentation would preclude me from the next stage of interviews. Was either told that there were no reservations or an elusive answer

  • David H.
    David H.

    Many hiring managers lead you to believe that you have the job. So many times, I have been told that they will contact me at a certain time to start the job, and then congratulate me on the interview. I go home thinking I have the job, and then not be contacted at the given time. When I follow up, they aren't available, and are always conveniently out of the office. If they decided to hire someone else, they should have the decency to at least inform me that I wasn't their first choice, and not leave me waiting, and thinking I have the job. They have just wasted my time, sometimes as much as a week, when I could be continuing my job search. This practice is dishonest, unprofessional, and probably a bit cowardly too. Formerly, when I was a supervisor, the one thing I disliked the most, was being lied to. Maybe it is discrimination, but I would like to think it is not.

  • Wayne Self
    Wayne Self

    You can thank the Legal environment for not receiving feedback from your interviews. Too many organizations are not willing to take the chance on being sued for providing something that may work against them and that list is VERY long. It is the same as not being able to provide anything during a reference check other than Salary, Hire Date and Term Date. Anything outside that realm could result in disaster and I really don't think that is the fault of the company.

  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson

    @Richie sadly you are not the only one who has indicated that hiring managers are not willing to give feedback from an interview. They are not willing to speak with you and let you know WHY you did not receive an offer. Certainly is a shame. From my perspective, if I request feedback after an interview and all I get is silence, I have to consider whether I would really want to work for this person. If they can't get back to you to let you know why you were not chosen for the position, how do you think they would be if you actually worked for them? Something to think about.

  • Richie P.
    Richie P.

    I have asked numerous interviewers for feedback from interviews. Nobody has responded to my requests. It's almost like throwing darts blindfolded. But I still change it up to where I feel most comfortable.

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