If you have not seen the opening sequence of 2009’s Confessions of a Shopaholic, please do so now. It is one of the most delightfully absurdist depictions of what NYC aspirants think the city is like, complete with potential meet-cutes, a Gucci namedrop, and blacking out from bliss due to a rhinestone-encrusted egg purse in a store window. It is the most shopping montage-iest of shopping montages that portray glossy-haired white women spending their way into better selves. It’s also, as far...

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