Seven Things You Shouldn't Tell a Supervisor

Posted by in Career Advice


We live in an extremely connected, social world. With the increased use of social media sites like Facebook and LinkedIn and mobile apps that allow you to let you check in and update everyone with your whereabouts, it's hard to keep your personal life to yourself. Whether you're looking for a job or currently employed, maintaining separation between your work life and the rest of your life is so important. These days, hiring managers and even bosses don't think twice about doing a web search on applicants and employees. Once they have access to all of your Facebook photos and status updates, they will judge you based on the information they find. Many people seem to be in a sort of denial about how much they share and what kind of impact it makes. For example, if you post photos from your niece's birthday party and in the background of the shot there are adults holding red Silo cups, your boss might assume that you spend your weekends drinking with friends – even though the cups may have simply been filled with fruit punch.

 

While it's tempting to share bits and pieces of your life with your co-workers and even mention these things in front of your boss – just don't do it. You can't be sure that the information you so casually share won't be held against you and even cost you a job.

 

Here are seven things you shouldn't tell a supervisor or hiring manager:

 

Your religious affiliation: Whether you go to church regularly or you don't identify with any major religion, keep it out of the workplace. Of course, most of us know that it's considered bad manners to talk about religion at work. Even something as small as asking for donations for your church's community project or selling candy for the youth group is a no-no. No matter what your supervisor’s religious beliefs are, sharing yours can backfire horribly. If they don't share your beliefs, they could judge you negatively and if they do share them, they might judge you for any conduct that they don't think is appropriate. You can't win here, so keep your spiritual life out of the office.

 

Your living situation: Your boss, or potential boss, doesn't need to know anything about your living situation. They don't need to know that you still live with your parents, with roommates or that you're married and own a home. All they need to know is that you come to work when you're scheduled.

 

What you do after work: It doesn't matter if you enjoy partying with your friends on weekends or if your nights are filled with baths and bedtime stories – it's none of your boss's business. As much as possible, don't discuss what you do when you aren't at work. If they ask you to work extra hours or come in on a Saturday and you can't, all you have to say is that you have previous plans at home. There's no need to explain what the plans are or to justify why they are important.

 

Your political views or affiliations: Especially during heated elections, it's challenging to keep your political views to yourself. It's so easy to make small talk about political candidates, but remember that what feels like casual conversation can reveal a great deal about what political group you belong to. The same goes for discussions about political or world events. When these topics are brought up in conversation, it's best to make only brief, non-committal responses.

 

Your family's income: Your boss knows how much money you make at your job, but beyond that, they don't need to know how much money your spouse earns or about any other sources of income you might have. It may not seem like a big deal, but if you have investment income or a high earning spouse, your boss might assume that you don't need a raise or aren't interested in a promotion. In the worst case scenario, when making cutbacks, your supervisor might let you go first, thinking that you don't need the income as badly as another employee.

 

Any part-time jobs or freelance work: Many companies take a negative view of their employees moonlighting or doing freelance work. As long as it's not against your company's policy, you don't need to share this information with your supervisor. The only time it's appropriate to mention another job is to your part-time employer. You can let them know that you have a full-time job in order to share your scheduling needs, but otherwise, keep things separate.

 

Any previous or current mental health issues: This is a big one. Don't discuss any mental health problems that you have had in the past or that you're currently dealing with. If you need time off for therapy appointments or other treatment, simply say that you have a doctor's appointment. Even if you aren't seeking treatment, don't mention that you are going through a difficult time, like a stressful divorce. You don't want your boss to think that you aren't able to do your job or that your mental health issue will affect your work.

 

Keeping your personal life separate from your work life can be difficult. Just keep in mind that any information you share can be used against you. As a professional, it's best to leave your personal life at the door and keep your business relationships focused on work.

 

What other things do you think should be kept to yourself? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

 

Image Source: freedigitalphotos.net

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  • Cheryl chrzanowski
    Cheryl chrzanowski
    Good one
  • RICHARD C YOUNG
    RICHARD C YOUNG
    Great info/advice !!!!! Lots of ppl dont know this stuff/so they let there boss/supervisor do say stuff too them
  • Melissa Kennedy
    Melissa Kennedy
    Thanks for the comments.@Mary, you're right, it's important to have boundaries. Even when you think that you have a non-controversial lifestyle, it's still important to keep your personal life private.@Kelly, just because you enjoy having spirited debates about issues doesn't mean that everyone else does. When you're in that situation, it's important to remember that it's not about the company making everyone miserable, it's about your style not blending well with that company's corporate culture. You like to share your views and work with likeminded people. It's an important thing to know when you're looking for a job, because you can look for places that have that sort of environment. You'll probably be much happier when you don't have to conform with someone else's idea of workplace conduct.@Emiliano, keeping boundaries is a different thing that working together with a spirit of unity. Keeping personal stuff private can only help build that sense of unity. There is nothing wrong with having friends at work and having people you are pleasant to, but who aren't necessarily people you would spend time with outside of work. Respecting others and getting along with everyone has nothing to do with what church you attend or in telling everyone how much money your family made last year.@Marilyn, that is exactly what I was talking about. If they think you're family is doing well because you've talked about your income, they might think that you don't need the job as much as someone else (which is silly and sort of discriminatory).@Samantha, I couldn't have said it better myself! Talking about your religion in an attempt to "share the message" to others is a form of bullying and harassment. It's sort of like workplace debate about celebrating certain religious holidays. Some people say, "This is silly! Why can't everyone (meaning people who don't believe in my God or my faith, who are obviously wrong and not important) just celebrate my religious holiday (typically Christmas or Easter)? Why do we have to be so politically correct (since my holiday is the right one and anyone who doesn't see that is just stupid)? Sharing your religious beliefs at work is just a bad idea, no matter what your beliefs are. If you feel strongly that your faith needs to be a large and vocal part of your work life, then you should look for jobs with a faith based organization where everyone shares the same beliefs.
  • Mary S
    Mary S
    I think the main point here is to be careful what you say to your supervisor about your personal life.  Boundaries are important at work.  There has to be a balance though. It is nice to be able to enjoy work and that is usually done by connecting on another level.
  • Kelly O
    Kelly O
    I have worked for a company that followed all these rules and was completely miserable. Everyone was afraid to say anything for fear of being fired, and believe you me they fired employees for saying anything the company felt remotely inappropriate. This company wanted nothing but "ROBOTS". It was the worst place I had ever been employed.I worked at another company where we could voice our opinions and have conversations about issue's ( sometimes spirited) and it was the best company I have ever worked for. Unfortunately the above company bought this one out and to say the least everyone is now miserable.Why can't we all be adults and be able to communicate with each other on issue's. Just a little FYI most of us find our friends and sometimes our mates at the work place. Lets grow up.
  • Claudine M
    Claudine M
    I think most of this is all junk and out of reality to not share who you are and what  you believe. It is also not constitutional to tell someone they can't share their beliefs. Some of it will inevitable come out anyway due to the nature of this world we live in and people spout off their opinions against those beliefs freely in the workplace . the work place is not a religious free zone!
  • Emiliano T
    Emiliano T
    I agree these informations above is very helpful. However, in some instances, we have different/conflicting ideas or opinions in a certain matter. In my humble opinion, i disagree to someone saying "we go to work to work and not to make friends". For me, man can't live alone...we need others in order to live.therefore, making friends in the workplace isn't so bad provided that, in doing so, will not affect the work performance. I believe that a work can be easily done effectively and efficiently if there is unity and cooperation among workers. But...if there's no frienship among them, i doubt if there's unity and cooperation. Let me ask your opinion. Do you believe that a country became progressive even with out unity/cooperation among its people?.....I agree to the idea that if we go to work then we should leave behind any other business that can negatively affect our workmanship and or affect others emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
  • Marilyn S
    Marilyn S
    I agree with many of the points made by Melissa.....especially her point about not devulging your family's income. Perhaps it is best not to let anyone at work know of your personal situation as this information may get to your supervisor. Both my husband and I can attest to that. During a round of needed layoffs at his company many years ago soon after he had completed a company sponsored MBA, he was one of the "chosen individuals" to be laid off and was told when given the news that "you are single and don't have a family to support and with your MBA you have a career ahead of you". Once I was in a philisophical discussion with a colleague during a business trip and I stated that I work because I want to not because I have to. Unfortuneately, I did not know at this time that the project was being scaled back and this colleague was part of a staff reduction task force and I was laid off less than a month later.
  • Altricia B
    Altricia B
    I feel as though all the information provided was very helpful and also factual.
  • Samantha F
    Samantha F
    I noticed that most of those disagreeing with the article take the approach of "(fill in the blank) discrimination is illegal," or "the boss should . . ."  Clearly those respondents do not understand that just because "(something) is illegal, or just because the "boss should/shouldn't . . ." doesn't automatically protect you from discrimination or other kinds of managerial retaliation.  And such retaliation may take very subtle forms.And if you have dreams of taking your employer to court for illegal behavior or because the "boss didn't/shouldn't have," you have no idea what you are in for.Regardless of how legitimate your claim is, proving it within the constraints of legal evidence is another matter entirely.I would prefer a work environment where it would be possible to discuss anything of interest, but the truth is that such work environments are extremely rare.You are better off to adhere to the advice in this article.And to those who say they wish to bring religion into the workplace, you do know that proselytizing is also considered as harassment, don't you?  If you didn't, then you should.  The workplace is absolutely the very last place you should bring your religion.  Ethics and morals?  Yes; religion? No way.
  • Melissa Kennedy
    Melissa Kennedy
    Thanks for the great comments. @sean k, if you need to have Sundays off so that you can attend church, feel free to let your boss know. However, it's not good manners to talk about your specific church, church activities or to attempt to witness to your co-workers. @Colin, I try to always refocus the conversation on to the person asking or on to the work. Also, when I run into people who are gossiping or saying negative things about someone, I always say something positive about them - even when I don't really like them. Everyone has positive traits, so embrace them with compassion and spread positivity. @Jill, it's a shame. I'm sure that she had the best of intentions, but it's just not appropriate at work. The people who supported her prayer groups become their own clique. It's worse when it's the boss that's trying to do this. The issue isn't about not being able to pray at work. You can pray all day as long as you keep it to yourself. People wouldn't like it if the Muslims at the office began rolling out prayer mats during the day and broadcasting the call to prayer. Would the Buddhist and Hindus organize meditation groups? Religion doesn't belong at work. It's not about being good or bad or pretending you don't participate in your religion. It's not a denial of faith, it just isn't the time or place to express it. If you feel that you need to express your faith verbal to everyone, then look for work at a religious company. Otherwise, live your religion and be a good example of your faith by your actions and your work ethic and leave the prayer groups for after work. @Adrian, that's a good one! Your personal financial problems probably shouldn't be shared. Some bosses will judge you harshly for them.
  • Toni W
    Toni W
    I really appreciate this information. It is helpful in interviews and how one is socialized in the workplace.
  • Carolyn Berg O
    Carolyn Berg O
    very good advice
  • Kelly S
    Kelly S
    I agree on the issues outlined above.  However, in most work environments, one could be labeled as not being a team player, or that the individual does not get along well with others when an individual limits his/her conversations to just the business at hand.
  • Andrew M
    Andrew M
    Sometime in office Party we he/she should avoid having alcohol so that to avoid your boss to know you much.
  • carolyn s
    carolyn s
    I totally agree with keeping ur work life separate from ur personal life.. People go to work to work not to make friends.. I was at a job for 2 years and no one knew my personal life but I was bullied because I kept to myself and did my work..
  • Madeilaine P
    Madeilaine P
    Religious affiliation will be dependent upon the working environment or setting - it is not a close- ended discussion; if co- worker or supervisor suspects about one's birds or religios practices it is a Religious Liberty issue!!!
  • sean k
    sean k
    What has America come to when you can't divulge that you attend church on Sunday!
  • Colin C
    Colin C
    What does one do when people try and drag these conversations and or information out of them?  I have always tried to be professional but those around me do not and drag me into their junk and get the dirt on me and end up ruining my career and life if they aren't living the same way.
  • Marsha L
    Marsha L
    I concur why would you share such information with a supervisor..in the case of medication if it is going to cause you to not function properly and conductive then I might consider sharing info but it is none of their business and it has nothing to do with your ability to do your job. Personally, people in generally are judgemental...why give them anymore reasons to be the judge.
  • Jim F
    Jim F
    I have no real connection with my supervisor at this time, and after reading the article I feel that a connection will not happen. The only thing I suppose a person could talk about safely is sports, and the job at hand. Not trying to be funny, but that is what the situation seems to be. Your article makes sense, and could be extended to others than just a supervisor. If people didn't talk about those items you mentioned in the article at all to anybody then I believe that Facebook, and the real world would be shall I say "REALLY GREAT"!! A little too clean, but "REALLY GREAT"
  • Deborah R
    Deborah R
    interracial relationships (friends, husband, kids,) should not be mentioned.  There are still very prejudiced people out there. Be very careful if you are the only person of your race within the department where you work.
  • James S
    James S
    Great information,  thanks.
  • Ajayi T
    Ajayi T
    dis a gud aritcle..................a word of wisdom is enuf for the wise
  • Jacob Z
    Jacob Z
    The only gray area is your living situation. How many of us that have kids don't talk about them? I think if you don't want to talk about your living situation that is and should be your prerogative.

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