The other day I wanted to mow my lawn. I rolled the mower out of the garage, checked the gas and oil levels, and gave the starter cord a yank. Nothing! Again I pulled the cord and again, other than a shake and sputter, nothing happened. I decided the problem was I wasn’t pulling hard enough so, with all my might, I pulled the cord; nothing. It didn’t matter how hard I pulled or how many times I pulled, the mower wouldn’t start. The spark just wasn’t there.
Too often, we face the frustration of spending some time talking with a person – a customer or salesman or coworker – and part thinking, “That was a waste of time!” No matter what we (or they) said nothing clicked. The spark just wasn’t there.
Too often, we face the frustration of spending some time talking with a person – a customer or salesman or coworker – and part thinking, “That was a waste of time!” No matter what we (or they) said nothing clicked. The spark just wasn’t there.
And what is that spark that jump-starts our communications with others? It’s rapport.
Rapport is defined as “a mutual understanding and trust between people” and you can see why that is so very important. You can have all the facts down pat; you can be certain of everything you say; you may have the solution to their problems and answers to their needs; but if there is no understanding or trust nothing is going to happen.
Would someone buy a product from someone who didn’t understand what they needed? Would a coworker take advice from someone they didn’t trust? Would you?
Here are some things you can do to help establish rapport with the person with whom you are conversing:
1. Look them in the eye. This shows respect and lets them know you’re not trying to hide anything.
2. Smile. This puts them at ease and lets them know that you are approachable.
3. Listen, repeating what they are saying for clarification. This let’s them know that you are concerned about them and their needs.
4. Be aware of their body language. You don’t want to simply ape them, but mirroring their actions (e.g. nodding with them) let’s them know you are on the same wavelength.
5. Be aware of their personal boundaries. Invading their personal space is very offsetting; respect the limits they set.
6. And of course, be sincere. No one will trust you if they think you are simply trying to manipulate or use them.
These are the first steps to building the rapport needed for effective communications. They may be just the spark you need to get things going.
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By: Joe Fairchild
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