When a co-worker tries to sabotage your work, there are a few things you can do to turn it around.
Dealing with co-workers who don't want to work as a team is a problem that almost everyone has had to deal with a one time or another. They are the ones who listen to your ideas and then take credit for them in front of your boss. At every turn, they seem to always be there to steal your glory or make you look bad. Sometimes, it doesn't even stop there. There are times when a conflict with a workplace bully or a difficult co-worker can escalate to the point where you find yourself looking for another job.
Most of the time though, it isn't as bad as that. I used to work with a woman who had a desk right beside mine. Whenever we had a project that needed to be done, she contributed about one percent of the work, but she talked it up to our boss and always made it look as if she were the main contributor. After putting up with it a couple of times, I learned that if you handle the problem in a professional manner, but remain clear on the facts, you can discourage this type of behavior and nip it in the bud.
If you have a difficult co-worker, here are some tips for standing up for yourself at work:
- Always remain calm – If your co-worker steals your thunder or even if they verbally attack you, keep your cool. Escalating the situation will only serve to make you look bad. It's really easy to get sucked into a shouting match, but resist the temptation to get angry and return insults.
- Listen – When they are complaining about your work or anything else,really, try to listen with an open mind and don't jump in to prove them wrong. Who knows, maybe a little bit of what they're saying could be true.
- Don't interrupt – Hear them out without becoming upset. As much as you can, let them keep going until they run out of things to say.
- Keep your emotions under wraps – This isn't the time to get emotional or defensive. This just add fuel to the fire.
- Acknowledge their opinions – I know this sounds like the last thing you want to do, but go with me on this one. When you acknowledge their problems and their pain, you let them know that they have been heard. Most arguments carry on long past a reasonable end point because the person just wanted to be heard.
- Have compassion – Obviously, they feel strongly about what they are saying. Even if they are wrong. Before you respond, try to look at the situation from their point of view. When you step outside of yourself and have compassion for your co-worker, you may be able to find an easy solution or see where the lines of communication have been crossed.
- Don't confront someone without being prepared – If you are upset, and you are sure that the issue needs to be dealt with, don't confront the person until you are sure that you can think rationally and control your emotions. There is nothing wrong with giving yourself a little bit of time to get your thoughts together.
- Deal with issues in a timely manner – Although it's ok to wait a little while to give yourself time to pull yourself together, it's not good to ignore problems and hope they go away. In the best of cases, you'll just allow resentment to simmer and become a much bigger problem later. The worst case scenario is that you teach your co-workers that it's fine to treat you shabbily.
- Insist on yourself – You can stand up for yourself and still keep it classy and professional. Take time to get your thoughts together and put your emotions to the side. If you respond calmly, but don't back down, you can demonstrate that you are a professional and that you can handle conflict in a constructive way.
Remember that dealing with conflict doesn't always mean coming out the clear winner. Sometimes the best way to win is to consider all sides and come up with a compromise that makes everyone a winner. In the workplace, you are both on the same team. Never let negative emotions make you forget that.
How do you handle workplace conflict? Let me know in the comments.
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By Melissa Kennedy- Melissa is a 9 year blog veteran and a freelance writer for SalesHeadsBlog, along with helping others find the job of their dreams, she enjoys computer geekery, raising a teenager, supporting her local library, writing about herself in the third person and working on her next novel.
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