What to Do When Your Employees Don't Show You Respect?

Joe Weinlick
Posted by in Career Advice


Respect isn’t an automatic perk of earning a managerial position. While some colleagues may support you, others are tempted to challenge your authority as you move up the ladder. Instead of retreating from conflict, demonstrate leadership skills by trying to resolve the source of disrespectful behavior. If you want to diffuse a budding office war, be open to self-evaluation and show willingness to address employee’s concerns.

1. Be Confident in Your Abilities

Whether you’re terrified of rejection or uncertain about your ideas, colleagues can detect insecurity, especially if your misgivings make projects harder for everyone else. Showing recurrent weaknesses may trigger resentment from employees who question your leadership skills or even consider themselves better candidates for the job.

Ask yourself if your low self-esteem is sending negative signals. Mentally evaluate ideas before communicating them to others to avoid second-guessing yourself in front of your critics. Don’t allow an employee to repeatedly undermine what you say. When leading meetings or one-on-one discussions, take control of the conversation, and make it clear that employees can voice their opinions or issues at a designated point.

2. Assess the Damage

When your leadership skills aren’t the problem, you may have to conduct some emotional detective work to find out if a personal issue is causing the disrespect. For example, new or recently promoted employees may lash out if they feel unsupported or overwhelmed, while others may take offensive to perceived favoritism or public criticism.

Check in with employees routinely to make sure they’re getting effective tools and training, and use open-ended questions to make sure your conversation doesn’t feel like an attack. Avoid using confrontational language or blaming the employee for a decrease in workflow. Most importantly, listen to your employees, and show genuine compassion by discussing what you can do to improve the situation.

3. Take Responsibility for Mistakes

An important element of conflict management is to weed out inherent double standards. You should serve as a model of strong integrity and leadership skills, so don’t ignore your own blunders while putting a spotlight on others. Employees, especially millennials, are more responsive and forgiving when you acknowledge your mistakes and clearly communicate your plans for a solution. At the same time, don’t sweat the small stuff. Employees are also watching to see how you recover, and they’re more inclined to trust your leadership skills when you continually set and fulfill high expectations.

4. Be a Good Mentor

Discourage employees from sidestepping your authority by fostering an open-door policy, and establish a two-way rapport with each of your direct reports. If employees feel comfortable bringing issues directly to you, they’re less likely to gossip or seek out your superiors. For productive conflict management, respectfully discuss issues in private, and never allow colleagues to badmouth a dissatisfied employee. At the same time, recognize good work. Nurture connections between your employees and other department managers, and provide opportunities for growth by recommending them for collaborations suited to their skills or interests.

When you’re responsible for clashing personalities, the worst thing to do is wait for problems to disappear. Be direct and honest with employees about how you expect them to perform and treat others. If resourceful leadership skills can’t fix a bad seed, be prepared to reassess a disrespectful employee’s value to the team.


Photo courtesy of PinkBlue at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

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