How to create harmony with your co-workers

No matter how good you are at your job, relationships often matter more than technical competence. People like to work with fun, friendly co-workers, not cold, efficient technocrats. You’re likely to have a more successful career if you’re well-liked by your co-workers and merely average at the technical knowledge of your job, than if you have excellent technical knowledge but very poor social skills.

If you find yourself feeling alienated or isolated from your co-workers, if you find yourself spending a lot of time alone at your desk, if you never go out to lunch or have friendly chats around the water cooler, then you might be drifting into the dreaded “no friends at work” zone. Fight it! You don’t have to end up alone and unloved (at work).

Here are some ideas to create a more harmonious workplace – and possibly improve your social life at the same time!

• Don't wall yourself off from the world - engage and interact. It can be so tempting, especially if you’re a natural introvert, to just hunker down at your desk and focus on your work, interacting only by e-mail and instant message, going all day without actually talking to anyone. But what you think is a display of productivity and professionalism might be interpreted by others as a sign of being anti-social. If you hunker down at your desk all day, your co-workers might feel that you’re being standoffish and unapproachable. So instead of hunkering down, say hello to people in the mornings. Invite people to join you for an afternoon coffee break. Organize a monthly lunch outing for the whole team. Volunteer to lead a special project. Even if you’re not a natural “people person,” it won’t kill you to get involved – and you might build some new relationships at work that can help you in other areas of your career (and your life).
 

• Help lighten the load for others. If your co-workers are swamped, step in and take some work off their plate. But don't take more than your share of the credit – your co-workers will appreciate you more if you let them receive the greater share of the glory. They might even return the favor the next time you need a hand.
 

• Be generous and energetic and convey an attitude of unconditional positive regard toward your colleagues. Co-workers are often unappreciated, ignored or taken for granted. Stop and take some time out of your day to really appreciate these fellow human beings with whom you share your workplace. Despite your differences, the various stresses and strains of working together, and everything that’s going on in the economy, most days you all are able to get along and work toward common goals – there’s something inspiring about that.
 

• Praise your co-workers. Whether it’s an e-mail to your boss thanking Tim and Susan for their assistance on last week’s big project, or verbally thanking the team for covering for you when you were on vacation, make sure to include praise for others as a regular part of your workday. People love hearing the sound of their own names, especially when you include those names in detailed discussions with the boss of what an excellent job they’re doing.
 

• Bring treats. Even if it’s not your birthday, even if the holidays are months away – just do it. Bring something tasty to share with the co-workers to let them know you care. People might appreciate it more than you realize.

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Ben Gran is a freelance writer and marketing consultant based in Des Moines, Iowa. He is an award-winning blogger who loves to write about careers and the future of work.