Another Sad Old White Man Ruins Everything For Everyone

In a new memo, Attorney General and demonic Keebler elf Jeff Sessions moved to lengthen drug sentences, rolling back a core element of the Obama administration’s criminal justice reform, which allowed prosecutors to avoid harsh mandatory minimum sentencing — five years to life in prison — for low-level drug offenses, like possession of marijuana. Basically, if you’re caught with a drug that makes everyone very calm and hungry, you don’t have to die behind bars with murderers! According...