For those who find themselves unemployed and are trying to cope with negative feelings it is advisable to focus on what is truly important. Connect deeply with friends and family that are a part of your life. Discover a new hobby while seeking work. Consider taking a part time job that won’t make you rich but keeps you involved with other people. The initial setbacks that come from losing a steady and sizable income can be an inconvenience that can affect the self esteem. Do your best to remember that you are a decent human being that is merely facing an undesirable situation. As long as you still have enough food, clothing, shelter, and health you should be able to manage better than many people in the world.
Looking for a job and facing continuous rejection is quite a unique feeling. Signs of negative thinking can be seen when you just hope to hear a definite no from a potential employer instead of remaining quietly ignored by the companies that have thousands of applicants and only a few available positions. Typically after a few months of unsuccessful employment seeking the next phase moves to either acceptance of part time work or further rejection from jobs that may not hire you because you are overqualified. McDonald’s is more likely to hire a 16 year old kid that will be there for a while over a 30 year old college graduate former corporate worker suddenly finding themselves out of work. The employers know who can be utilized best, and someone who is overqualified will tend to leave a low end job the instant they are able to find a better position elsewhere.
When individuals reach the point of realizing that any savings, borrowing opportunities, and simple help from loved ones are no longer options for financial assistance a feeling of desperation can set in. If you do own any possessions of value it is time to sell in order to have money to live on. At the point of having no income to contribute it is essential that one uses their creativity to arrange living situations that may seriously reduce the cost of housing or rent. Speak with your current landlord or mortgage officer and see if there are any ways you can provide them with services while you look for work. They may be quite reasonable and sympathetic with your circumstances if you are honest and show them that you are sincerely trying to locate a job.
Luckily most job seekers will never quite reach the point where they are forced to sell every thing they own in order to make ends meet. Despite the vast amounts of competition in many fields there are always thousands of opportunities that need to be filled at any given moment in large cities. Continue to do your best to seek what you really want and do everything in your power to obtain the job goal of your dreams.
If the truly unfortunate moment arrives where you have no money, no job, and can’t afford to stay at the place you have been it is time to form another plan quickly. Hopefully most may have family and friends that they could stay with temporarily while trying to get back to some type of employment. If that is not an option one could seek government assistance, charitable donations, or arrange a deal with a local business to do remedial chores in exchange for food and shelter. This is the time when things may seem as if they will never get better and life itself may seem to be cruel. It is your responsibility to summon the courage to believe that things will get better through time and effort. Once one has sunk to horrid low points they will be able to gain a greater appreciation for the better times experienced and will have nothing but time to concentrate on how to achieve more for their lives. Although this scenario is not likely to happen to many the possibility exists for it to happen to virtually anyone if circumstances are difficult. Be compassionate to those experiencing adversity in the job hunt. Make every attempt to be able to show prospective employers your hope for the future instead of dwelling on past mistakes even in the most challenging parts of the job hunt. Eventually you should be rewarded with work again.
In order to prevent anything financially disastrous to take place it is best if one can accept less than pleasant job situations at certain times and keep attempting to improve current situations. By no means will this be an easy task, it may seem impossible to get the real job that is wanted at times, and one can easily be trapped by feelings of fear, doubt, and despair in times of unemployment or underemployment. Find the coping strategies that work best for you and keep moving toward opportunities that could provide for a better way of life. Good luck in your job hunting!
Coping With the Stages of Unemployment and Tough Times
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Corinne A •I have much to learn however, always remember you must evaluate your own circumstances continuously and work hard for better results communication on many different levels is crucial as is learning how companies and services operate to better assist you in changing times. Never get too set in your ways it defeats you. Remember your own priorities and use other people if need be to get results if only for telephone usage I learned failure to act is way too costly. I am thankful and grateful to those that assist in their own way lessons are not easy ,however we all need to learn them. Best of opportunities to all working that path. I hope for your success. -
amy h •I feel for you all i lost my job in 2011 and have been collecting unemployment for a year and they have stopped my benefits but I am making an appeal so times have been so hard and tough for me i just cry at times will have to move back home have been applying everywhere getting no where.but i just have to try to pick my feet up and keep thinking postive.
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Suzanne G •NO REPLY! That to me is my situation. I come from a generation of instant gratification...I worked hard in the years that I was allowed to work (another story), made decisions that I probably should not have made (left a good job for "love"), was basically dumped after two years of giving so much caring. Found a part time job helping at-risk girls and let go due to lack of funding. I have been out of a job since April 2012 and I am scared. Soooo many resumes sent out on line, many NO REPLIES! Frustration....I have a son and daughter who said it was time to move closer to them. For me it was a very difficult decision, moving to another part of the country, away from my friends, my routine. But I had a condo I couldn't afford, couldn't collect unemployment because the last job was too short termed. I get alimony, thank God, to help with the bills and I opted for early SS. So, yes, I picked up and moved, rented out my condo, put my stuff in storage. And here I wait...sitting online, feeling not quite so alone, unfortunately for all of us to be in this situation. I have a roof over my head (my son's), we get by financially (at least he has a job), and wait...NO REPLY,,,,I get tired (not physically) about this, I get depressed, down on myself, feeling like a failure, but I feel this tug of pride to keep going. I am a teacher, a damn good one, and I can't find a job in education. Is it age, is it not enough classrooms. Are we cramming so many kids in the classroom that we are eliminating jobs all for the sake budgets. Are we sacrificing our kids for the sake of budget cuts? I am on a soap box here, but there is so much at play here. We need to find the KEY, we need to find reason behind the reasonsI pray for all of you, and myself, that we find our place in this new changing world. It is a scary thought that there are hundreds of thousands of us who are talking the same talk, and walking the same walk. It's not pretty but we are trying to survive the best we can. Hang in there....better yet, a friend told me don't hang in there because you can lose your grip, stand up and raise your hands and someone, someplace will grab on and help you out. My best, good luck....we are walking in each others shoes, let's try not to shuffle out feet, take the steps forward we need to.
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Monica J •I've been searching for a job for over 7 months, gone on various interviews, no takers and I am very disappointed based on my experience, demeanor, and skills. Now unemployment is going to audit me and I am totally exasperated having searched for job after job with no results
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Carol C •I can support what everyone is saying. I have a situation that makes me cry whenever I think about it. I have been married for nearly 35 years. We have always had to work hard to make ends meet. I took small customer service jobs when my children were little. My husband now retired from the Post Office brought home a decent paycheck. He had to change cars every 2-3 years. He had uniforms so we did not pay for clothing for him. If I wanted anything special or extra for the girls I had to make money. Whenever I needed extra cash to pay for things he would have a fit. He even said to me one time "its my money" you want money go out and get a job. Yes, on top of the job I had at the time. I have lived with this c**p for all these years. Now we are in our fifty's and I went back to school. Now I am unemployed with less than $100.00 to my name and bills to pay. I cannot ask him for money because he will have a fit. I am so stressed out I sleep all day and am severely depressed. It all I can do to look for jobs and live with this man I am coming to detest more and more everyday. I don't know what to do.
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Doreen B •I thank you for this article. I'm 58 years old and was laid-off after 14 years working for a local government. I've been feeling very low lately. My oldest grandson is graduating this year and I can't afford to travel to where he lives. I have found myself feeling very scared about what will happen if I don't find a job, soon. I'm also trying to find affordable health insurance while unemployed, and that is turning out to be a very despressing ordeal, as well.
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Thomas J •There is also the power of prayer and faith that can get a person through hard times. Prayer can be answered and a person can get back to a more rewarding and secure position.
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MARGARET B •Your advice is great for someone who is under the age of 55 but once you reach that age or even 60 the hunt takes on an entirely different look. The chance of going on Social Security is at your finger tips and if there is a pension still at your disposal from where you left, that money is soon to come availalable. There presents the question of full-time or part-time. The situation is all together different depending on the job search.
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Avis S •This article was very informative and uplifting.I have been unemployed since January 2012, in which it was a three month seasonal job at a department store and before that 3 years. I have been on interviews that look promising, and then you receive a email that they chose another canidate and not a phone call to say that you are hired.But I'm blessed because that I had other options to live withfamily. I think what has best worked for me is to stay motivatedand staying around positive people that will encourage you on your job hunt.
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sharon g •I would like to say a word about unemployment insurance. I was fired the day before Thanksgiving of 2011. My employer told a lie as to why I was fired. So unemployment benefits were denied. I am appealing. I will win and start receiving payments. My hearing is for January 24,2012. My whole point is This taking so long that I am homeless and have lost my car. I have lost everything. Why do they believe the employer? The checks will come to late for me. I have never received any government help before. I have always paid my own way.
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C Johnston •Good article. I became very ill in May 2010 and couldn't work again until February 2011. By then I had lost my nonprofit job to the economy. Have 30 years experience in human services, but can't find anything or anyone that will hire me. Have had many resumes, help from friends, networking, etc. to no avail. I've never seen it like this and hope something turns around for us all soon.
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DKB •What doesn't kill us makes us stronger? Well for those of us who believe in the apocalypse and have faced the beast of unemployment...kudos. I bet you have begun to shrink those stomachs. Also, simpler is better. But the definition of simple is not without. I am sometimes walking around as a hollow version of a woman who should be running around solid in her 30's. When you sleep or exert the least amount of energy to save it because you don't really eat, that's not simple. We want it all! We want it all NOW! And we don't really care about we, it's just the immediate we. Only recently have I heard more of families reaching out and talking/lending money etc because of dire need-vs. chatting on one of the many technological advances we keep perfecting. Perfect the rationale of a man or woman who legally can perform a job-such as a housekeeper or cashier, but are not looked at or 'overlooked' due to being over qualified. Ever hear of not being judged for a position based on age, race, color, creed? What about being judged for being competent-no, too competent. If companies are so worried their candidate-of whom is a risk at any hire-will leave when something better comes along....then invest in that candidate and move them along your company to the something better. Or if you are really that lazy that you do not want to do your HR job and research new candidates because you have helped a person better themselves and move on, then sign a temp contract in which the candidate agrees to stay and work x amount of time and train their replacement once the time has been fulfilled. WE. WE need to not be so paper thin and paper thinkers. WE need to be to busy creating more pages as a minimum for a person's resume by doing and implementing. I have never realized so much in doing so little. Or maybe it is I who is just watching the game?
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Susan Brunner •That reality is very scary for me and for anybody else earnestly looking for work. The job it takes to look for work is far harder that being employed and I must say your energy gets zapped so quickly, so it seems. Sometimes, I believe that you just have to take a short break away from these worries and jump back in regenerized to fight for the right of survival.
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American Trash •What is going on here? Now being unemployed since February I have noticed more and more (immigrants?)/middle easterners populating my city. Living next door, opening businesses, filling the schools, driving nice cars, speaking some language (NOT ENGLISH). How is it that I must STRUGGLE to make ends meet, am told I do not qualify for food stamps or medi-cal or cash assistance yet the welfare office is full of THEM. The paper work now includes THEIR language. Their disrespectful kids play ball outside, screaming in their language, smashing the ball into the building, destroying the bushes, breaking windows. When did America give the dream away? Why is America STILL giving the dream away? Leaving behind the poor, lost, forgotten people like me in the sewer. Tell me....when the "war" is officially over, do they GO HOME???
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I lost my job after 28 years,not including working at the Resort's Casino in 1978.My last job,I called my Union to give workers jobs.When My company was taken over,they cut and cut workers that made the most money-engering,househeeping,security,and because I was a union-manager,was called in 6-22-09 to HR and was told they did not want a union person doing manager's work.Instead a person who does catering room set-ups,does my job also,and he also is a room captain.That's how much this new company welcomed us with "open arms. I don't like being unemployed,but who works for a company that posts the first 25 people they elimineted by the time clock!I still have my work skills,still search,and will find a job.
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Tess •So many great comments, Monique, I feel horrible that you have to live through this with small children. Steve, fabulous comment. I'm in my early 50's lost my job over 7 months ago. I apply for at least 30 jobs a week, and have as of now received 2 phone calls, of which neither produced employment. I am an elcellant employee, hard working, educated, and reliable. Why am I not getting any calls on my resume. I read postings that read the employer wants someone reliable, who doesn't sit on FB all day, who will show up on time, REALLY? STOP hiring young, irresponsible children, pay a bit hirer wage and hire ME!! I've had professionals look over my resume a few times and am told that the resume looks great. As everyone else, all I want is a job that will pay my bills, not a job that wont' pay them and leaves me coming home smelling like burgers and fries. I'd like to see congress live on the wages being offered to flip burgers, Yeah right! I am also not looking for a job for retirement, I expect to be working well into my 70's. I just want to be able to pay my bills, put gas in the car and a little food in my stomach. As it is, I try to keep my food bill to $25 a week, I live in FL and keep my air off in my home till the temp reaches 85. I have no savings, no retirement. I just want a job that will pay my expenses. What's the problem here. Look at all of the people living soley on unemployment right now (and we don't want to be living on this, we WANT to work). I'd like to see congress live soley on unemployment with no health benifits. And by the way, the only reason that it appears that unemployment rates have gone down, is because people have used up their benefits and are no longer even receiving unemployment benifits. That's the ONLY reason that it APPEARS that unemployment has gone down. You want to fix our deficit, get rid of your expensive homes, expensive multiple vehicles, priveat planes, change your health care, and take a pay cut to about $50,000 annualy (damn, I'd die to have that kind of salary). I just want a Job, a job that I can survive on without living in my car and I'd love to be able to take care of my health. Come on someone help those of us who are responsible, reliable hard working and WANT to work.
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David G •I lost my job in January. I just turned 49 and had been with the company for 13 years. A new manager was intent on cleaning house and used a minor error in judgment on my part (while I was filling in for a coworker who was out sick that day) as an excuse to fire me on behavioral grounds. I later saw my job on an internet job board offering $7/hr less than what I was making. Fortunately I can collect unemployment since the state did not judge me guilty of misconduct, but it is not enough to cover my bills and will expire after 99 weeks. It hurts to apply for job after job after job and only get one interview in three months. And I wonder how much really was my fault and how much I am blaming the new manager. I have been volunteering, but this is simply a distraction; if I stayed at home all day I would go nuts. My doctor put me on anxiety medication, but without health insurance ($700/month for COBRA ??!!) I can't see him any more. I started school but found out that since my job is allegedly in demand (Huh?) and I already have a degree I am ineligible for financial aid. It is very discouraging. I'm trying to stay positive; my friends say that by volunteering and going back to school while I apply for work I should feel proud that I am doing everything I can. And then I saw this week's cover story of Newsweek about college educated middle aged men being virtually unemployable. How can I continue to stay positive?
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Starliene Bradburn •The writer had good intentions, and seems to have some sympathy. However, he does not truly know what it is like. The truth is that most emergency money is tapped out. I know. There are so many people out of work and in the same situation, some trying to get financial assistant for rent or utilities and the money just isn't there anymore. If you are like me and do not have any dependents at home anymore, you do not qualify for most programs. I am in Florida so this might not be the same in every state. It is very very difficult to get a 'less than pleasant job' just to get by until something better comes along. Why? Because they know you are over qualified and will leave when something better comes along, so they will not hire you. I know because I have tried. I am desperate for a job, not just for the money, but because the longer I am unemployed, the harder it is going to be to convince someone to hire me.
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Sharon Palmer •I have been unemployed for almost 2 years and now unemployment is gone. Yes, I have two strikes against me: female and over 50. I do have a 4 yr degree but only 10 yrs of work history because I had the luxury of being a stay at home mom so didn't enter the work force until later in life. I am scared that everything I have accomplished will be lost. I am trying to stay positive but that is very hard to do. Can't afford gas to just drive around knocking on doors for work and the majority of companies want you to fill out their online applications first anyway. Not a lot of feedback or interviews generated by online applications. I'll keep trying though, what's the alternative?
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I am so glad I took the time to read all the posts from so many who are going through the same thing. Being in your 50's and early 60's is very difficult. Age is definately a state of mind to us, but not to the HR folks. It's so sad that our experience doesn't account for something valued. I've been searching for work over a year now, and have a License in Psychiatric Nursing. Guess I am too old to roll around on the floor with the clients when their, or someone elses safty is in danger. Not as far as I am concrened, but that must be an issue in my interviews. No way to change someone elses perspective. Good luck to all and keep on pushing.
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Dawn •Thanks for this article, I can relate to most of everything stated in the comments section. I was lucky I just received a consulting gig after suffering over 6 months of being unemployed. It came just in time. My comment is directed to Henry, the engineer. Since you have such highly technical skills, why not look to teaching. I believe there are teaching gigs for individuals with specialized skills at JCs? You would be more geared towards specific technical areas. Try to stay positive. Best
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Sandra J •I agree with this. I've been out of work for 2 yrs. I went back to school, and I haven't found a job yet. I think my old job is telling lies about me. At least I have a roof over my head, and food to eat (thanks to foodstamps). My parents have to help me pay my bills, since I maxed out on my unemployment. I'm sad most days, and feel like a loser all of the time.
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Mark •I took a job as a security guard working graveyard Sat-Sun nights, supplemented by student loans. I went back to school to finish my BS. I will be done with that at the end of April. I live in a rural area, with small cities scattered around within a 60 mile radius. I have been unemployed for 10 months. It sucks. There are no jobs, the worst I have ever seen it. I'm 50 and really scared. I hope this degree helps.
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Thanks for the post! I have been struggling keeping my head up as of late. I will try to keep some of this tips in mind as i continue my search for a job.
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This article helped me out a bit. I lost my job after working for a corporation for 8 years. I am in a bad position now because I work in a very specific industry!
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