Coping With the Stages of Unemployment and Tough Times

Posted by in Career Advice


For those who find themselves unemployed and are trying to cope with negative feelings it is advisable to focus on what is truly important. Connect deeply with friends and family that are a part of your life. Discover a new hobby while seeking work. Consider taking a part time job that won’t make you rich but keeps you involved with other people. The initial setbacks that come from losing a steady and sizable income can be an inconvenience that can affect the self esteem. Do your best to remember that you are a decent human being that is merely facing an undesirable situation. As long as you still have enough food, clothing, shelter, and health you should be able to manage better than many people in the world.

Looking for a job and facing continuous rejection is quite a unique feeling. Signs of negative thinking can be seen when you just hope to hear a definite no from a potential employer instead of remaining quietly ignored by the companies that have thousands of applicants and only a few available positions. Typically after a few months of unsuccessful employment seeking the next phase moves to either acceptance of part time work or further rejection from jobs that may not hire you because you are overqualified. McDonald’s is more likely to hire a 16 year old kid that will be there for a while over a 30 year old college graduate former corporate worker suddenly finding themselves out of work. The employers know who can be utilized best, and someone who is overqualified will tend to leave a low end job the instant they are able to find a better position elsewhere.

When individuals reach the point of realizing that any savings, borrowing opportunities, and simple help from loved ones are no longer options for financial assistance a feeling of desperation can set in. If you do own any possessions of value it is time to sell in order to have money to live on. At the point of having no income to contribute it is essential that one uses their creativity to arrange living situations that may seriously reduce the cost of housing or rent. Speak with your current landlord or mortgage officer and see if there are any ways you can provide them with services while you look for work. They may be quite reasonable and sympathetic with your circumstances if you are honest and show them that you are sincerely trying to locate a job.

Luckily most job seekers will never quite reach the point where they are forced to sell every thing they own in order to make ends meet. Despite the vast amounts of competition in many fields there are always thousands of opportunities that need to be filled at any given moment in large cities. Continue to do your best to seek what you really want and do everything in your power to obtain the job goal of your dreams.

If the truly unfortunate moment arrives where you have no money, no job, and can’t afford to stay at the place you have been it is time to form another plan quickly. Hopefully most may have family and friends that they could stay with temporarily while trying to get back to some type of employment. If that is not an option one could seek government assistance, charitable donations, or arrange a deal with a local business to do remedial chores in exchange for food and shelter. This is the time when things may seem as if they will never get better and life itself may seem to be cruel. It is your responsibility to summon the courage to believe that things will get better through time and effort. Once one has sunk to horrid low points they will be able to gain a greater appreciation for the better times experienced and will have nothing but time to concentrate on how to achieve more for their lives. Although this scenario is not likely to happen to many the possibility exists for it to happen to virtually anyone if circumstances are difficult. Be compassionate to those experiencing adversity in the job hunt. Make every attempt to be able to show prospective employers your hope for the future instead of dwelling on past mistakes even in the most challenging parts of the job hunt. Eventually you should be rewarded with work again.

In order to prevent anything financially disastrous to take place it is best if one can accept less than pleasant job situations at certain times and keep attempting to improve current situations. By no means will this be an easy task, it may seem impossible to get the real job that is wanted at times, and one can easily be trapped by feelings of fear, doubt, and despair in times of unemployment or underemployment. Find the coping strategies that work best for you and keep moving toward opportunities that could provide for a better way of life. Good luck in your job hunting!
 

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  • Dana Bostick
    Dana Bostick
    It is ironic. I eschewed following the path of the corporate treadmill and the "security" that all my elders at the time assured me would be there. Where is that security now folks? I never did feel that putting your life into the hands of some faceless corporate lemming herd was a bright thing to do.I chose to make my own way in various self-employment options and with a few wage earner type jobs sprinkled in here and there that provided me with needed experience in areas I was interested in. As a result, I have a vast experience in a broad range of fields.  I own my own business but, in this case unfortunately, it is connected to the Real Estate industry and has suffered the the same severe drop off in activity that that industry has. I am taking a serious look at my bag of tricks and trying to look forward and re-invent myself and position myself and my company to be ready to respond to new areas of need.In the short term, I have consumed my savings, sold off non-essential tools and toys and tapped the "bank of Mom" to keep things going.  Been living on the edge for many months.  The future is looking better and my business is poised to respond to the new "green" movement and need to conserve energy through the use of technology.Although not a fan of Obama (or any of the offerings of the last election)it appears that he may be moving the country in the direction that may be advantageous to my business, offering tax credits for energy conservation measures.  I will be watching this area closely and tailoring the promotion of my business to take advantage of this.  I just wish it would move a little faster.  I'm getting pretty tired of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
  • MIKE MURPHY
    MIKE MURPHY
    After 30 years in retail store management, I had a very positive, progressive climb from small department stores ($.5 million) to major up-scale department stores (+$50 million). My executive capacity was from store manager, assistant store manager/merchandise manager, and regional manager-in-training trainer.My particular downfall, for which I am here  responding to you today,is that the unfortunate fact that I was forced to take a medical leave for a heart arrythmia which landed me in the hospital twice. When I was able to return to work as my benefits were running out, there was no place for in the company due to the merger of two major department store chains into one ... May Co. and Federated / Macy's. Top management was being laid off, fired and re-located into store positions far below their standards of talent and compensation. Therefore their was no room for me and I negotiated a lay-off agreement, in which I received some compensation from my 12 years with this company, but did forfeit all of my stock options, which were worth Thousands of dollars.So, I sit here today after 3 failed attempts to join new retail chains, in which I would accept demeaning jobs, answering to "managers" who are younger than my daughter, and, of course going broke due the smaller store salary structure.I have been actively marketing myself since Thanksgiving 2006. I have been turned down by Sears, Gap, Inc., Macy's (former May Co. Foleys), Kohl's, Belk, JCPenney, Target, Chase Bank, Robbin's Brothers, Dick's Sporting Goods, AAFES, Hallmark, specialty stores, Jos. A Bank and countless recruiting firms, sales management/marketing/sales and sales management positions, mostly MLM, no salary/no benefit jobs, inside/outside sales to name a few.   
  • Arnetta
    Arnetta
    The author writes as if he has been in this situation himself. I have also been in dire straits before. One thing I have learned is that a person can be very creative and resourceful when it comes to survival.
  • Suzan
    Suzan
    Thank you all for sharing.  Yes, the road of unemployment is bumpy and difficult to navigate.  I have been out of work since August 2006 and have not had any income since.  I was lucky enough to have money saved (to buy a new car) when I lost my job.  I have had to reduce my spending to bare minimums but I ran out of money in March.  I am truely fortunate (and grateful) for my mother who has been helping me since.  I am constantly sending resumes, replying to any/all jobs for which I am qualified.  To keep positive and active I signed up for some classes at the local community college.  Keep the faith.....this to shall pass...
  • Claudia
    Claudia
    It has been 8 weeks since I suddenly became unemployed and I am now convinced that it is the best thing that could have happened to me. I had been unhappy in my position for several years but was too lazy to do anything about it. A new manager woke me from my comfort zone! I am going through the emotional roller coaster but I have to say that in the end I believe in myself. I have had 3 interviews so far and have gone from being totally intimidated and afraid of the process to now welcoming the experience as another step on the road to my ideal job. I am determined to win over myself and in the situation and that gives me hope to continue - no matter what.
  • Rob
    Rob
    Many great comments here. After having most of my family wiped out by a drunk driver 4 years ago and in a short coma myself, I have had to restart my career. In 4 years of trying I finally landed a good-paying job, but I had to "starve" my soul to do it. It is very difficult tho I am reaching out to make friends and get involved. I endured 4 years of worsening poverty, finally living in a tent trailer through an Idaho winter before finding work and hiding my living conditions from the employer. Now I have my boss over for BBQs and he is impressed with how I live, simply yet comfortably. It wasn't easy being told you're "overqualified" and having bill collectors demand a date that you will be able to make a pmt. While I am deeply scarred by the experience, I am also much calmer (worn down?) and resigned to a simple life as I just don't care much anymore. All I can say is be hopeful, believe in yourself, be honest and ALWAYS  put your very best POSITIVE effort into job seeking. I sent out 4-10 resumes a day and was very honest with bill collectors and landlords. Honesty went a long ways toward getting assistance, often unexpected. Hang in there, bounce back after getting down. Don't let employer's shallow poor judgments get you down as they usually make the wrong call, hiring for the wrong reasons and often "make do". You know your worth. Lift up your chin and stand tall because you KNOW what you're worth and it's usually different then how others judge you.Attitude is often the difference maker. Sooner or later, it DOES get better. The hard part is getting there.
  • Henry
    Henry
    Your article was both informative, and does post a degree of encouragement. I am in my 50's and have been out of work in my career field for about 5 years, and have been trying to get work in my profession for all those years. In the past, I have been employed in a very lucrative job located overseas (to be exact, Saudi Arabia), which I was able to save quite a bit of money, but over the last 5 years, I have seen that savings dwindle to almost nothing. I am really facing a "double whammy" in that my last real living wage job was located overseas (so I could not develop a "network" which I could rely on in search for employment in the U S), and the factor of age. Add to this is my health is not very good (I have diabetes and some complications from the desease), so medically, an employer is not willing to pick me up due to the health situation. I have tried independent consulting, but you have to have a "network" for that, and tried the "temps" with no luck in finding work, and have tried applying for menial jobs where I have been rejected for that. I have even tried going back to school (I already have a Masters degree in Electrical Engineering, but now I am going to a local community college to pick up some computer networking courses), but the advanced degree did not help out (in fact getting the advanced degree hurt my job possibilities, for I had a good paying job lined up, but I turned it down due to myself wanting to seek the Masters degree-THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE). At this point, I have reached the point that I will no longer be considered employable due to my age and health, and what can one really do, except to live on public handouts, if they exist. I hate it but one does have to face reality, and the reality for me is very stark. Finally, I would like to have some suggestions in terms of what I can do to get employable again at a living wage. Henry
  • Steve
    Steve
    I agree with Sharlean. Whether you are religious in  nature or not, you need the faith that "something or someone" out there is watching out for you. They will not drop that opportunity in your lap (you still need to do the work), but the feeling of "I will make it" will make it all the sweeter when it does happen. I was let go the day after I turned 55. Sure, I could be negative, blame others etc, but who is to say that an even better opportunity isn't around the next corner. In my job search, I am not singing the praises of my experience. I am instead being stoic and emphasizing my need to balance homelife and work. It keeps me calm but focused. Mr Employer, I am not going away!
  • Denny
    Denny
    It's been 4 years working less than ideal, casual, on call shiftwork hoping a fulltime gig will come out of this. I might have worked 100 hrs so far in 2007. The call-ins are few and far between and I feel I've wasted enough time on this goverment employer. It's their mandate to cut jobs that were once fulltime into part time jobs without benefits or security. In the past 6 monthes I've been sending resumes in every direction locally, regionally and nationally. My wife has suggested a separation in our 17 year marriage so I can be free to find employment elsewhere. I was devastated. I've never felt so low in all my life and I think I'm experiencing a form of depression. I find it hard to sleep without being startled awake with anxiety and fear of what my future will be like. I'm scared what will happen to me if I lose everything as well as being under-employed. I'm too proud to ask friends and family for help.  Be positive you say, and things will change. I've been hoping and working on a better tomorrow for years now and it seems to be getting worse. Sorry to not comply with this positive thinking. Bad things happen to good people every day. While some people can walk in the rain and not get wet.   God bless those who've had to endure unemployment when a meaningful job is all they ask for. DS
  • Vinni Novacek
    Vinni Novacek
    Hello, and Good morning.  The article was fine and well written.  The advice was yes and no.  A good example is the young single mother with 3 young children to take care of; who is helping her?  Where is the help when you become unemployed even it is for a short time?  And then there are the institutions out there that make this situation worse; because of the way some of our financial instutions work; one can incur more debt there.  One may try to pay a bill or get cash that one thinks one really has in their account only to find out that one in fact does not and then the USURY by our own banking system sets in; and the fees begin to multiply.  When one is in the circumstance of being unemployed or underemployed then perhaps our financial institutions should take that into consideration and not make an already badsituation worse.
  • Sharlean
    Sharlean
    How ironic that I would find this email today.  I was at the library checking for responses to my emails for employment.  Yes I have a computer at home, but wouldn't you know it(technical problems) with no monies to repair.  My last unemployment check will be coming next week.  So I look on the bright side, I still have one week to find employment.  My faith in God is what keeps me going.  The Bible says in Jerimiah 24:11 "I know the plans I have for you, they are good and not evil, plans to give you a future and hope".  As long as you have hope and you keep doing what you know to do, things will work out.  I will send an update on my new career.  
  • Carrie
    Carrie
    It takes a lot of strength, resilience and courage to remain positive while your energy and spirit are not exactly at the top.  However it is crucial to stay positive at this time.  Employers can sense negative energy at the door before you even step in to shake their hands for the first time.  Use this time to do some self evaluation and improve on skills like how to write an effective resume, how to perform during an interview, read up on successful leadership skills, read up on companies, see who's been promoted into the hiring positions recently and send them your resume directly before the jobs even hit the recruiters or the classified ads.  It is time to think out of the box and be a little more creative.  There will be some miserably dark days but the right opportunity will come.  Just keep your head high and know that this is just part of life and you will manage.  You will bounce back and come out of it being a much stronger and resilient leader.    
  • glenn miller
    glenn miller
    To all my fellow friends who are out there unemployed, hang in there!! At times it may seem like all hope is gone , but thats not the case, keep your thoughts positive and dont let yourself stay idol, keep busy. Sooner or later you will be back to work and the everyday part of life will be back. So just make the best of the time that you do have off.
  • Laurie
    Laurie
    I will tell you what I think. I think the article is infact trying to have you focus on patience and well being for the soul.There are many many reasons why finding employment is hard, not just "economy"Also I think it offers some very good advice for different phases of unemployment.It is  what it is, No one can change that and being negative will surley slow down any attempts we make.
  • pp
    pp
    Also, taking a job way beneath your capabilities, while helping with the finances temporarily, can produce a feeling of lower self-worth, especially when you smell like fries and hamburgers every night!  In the interim....I disagree that this would produce any step in the right direction at all.
  • Diana Williams
    Diana Williams
    I believe in the article as it is encouraging and positive. It's important to keep a good attitude during this time. I have been without work since March 12 and today is June 6. I filed Ch7, my home is up for sale, and I'm on food stamps. I have no income at all but I remain optimistic as I know something will be coming my way soon. I have much faith and the article gives excellent advice "Connect deeply with friends and family that are a part of your life."  Don't allow this "inconvenience that can affect the self esteem" trouble you. I still have enough food, clothing, shelter, and my health. A lot of people have much less than myself. I have two college degrees and many skills I have acquired over the years. Something GREAT will happen! Thank you for the article. It's simply a reminder of this.
  • Bob
    Bob
    A paradox associated with joblessness, especially among "Boomers," is that while many employers lament anticipated unmet workforce needs as older workers retire and take their knowledge with them, to be replaced by too few and generally less well educated workers, the same employers practice bias against older job candidates in their hiring practices.  Whether it's because of media hype, or HR staff who generally identify with the younger crowd, or simply because employers want to ditch older workers to cut their pension and insurance costs and avoid smart-assed older workers taking on younger, less knowledgeable managers, the result's the same:  well-trained older workers out of work and unable to be reemployed.  Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face!
  • jong
    jong
    This article is very straight forward and from personal experienced where I worked before in the last 10 years in mid management level and lost it through corporate unfortunate decision making and you have to depend on state unemployment where you only received a days worth of pay in your previous job and now your receiving it in a weeks worth of unemployment check it will drive you nuts/crazy and the regular monthly bills won't tell you they'll wait for your payment until you get a new job. It is a great learning experienced for me and I should have listened to Dave Ramsey's advised that you'll need 6 months or so worth of emergency funds to cover for lost wages/etc. I did received a job offer and started working again just last month at a lesser pay scale with more responsibilities than before after 11 months of without it. You cannot blame it on the economy or etc, the question is how better equip and ready are you to hurdle unforseen events in life, like job unemployment? Nobody will solve it for you except yourself. Before I did not even think that what happen to me last year will ever really happen but it did and anyone is vulnerable no exception? So anyone out there work on it now you need have an emergency fund, much better to start it right now who know's you might be next casualty? Be responsible in every decision you make and don't blame it on anybody for what happen to you.
  • Carol
    Carol
    I found this article to be very helpful in maintaining perspective over a long period of unemployment.  It is easy to get discouraged when good jobs are not forthcoming, but it is important to remember that "this too shall pass."  Those who succeed in life usually go through some tough times, and learn to exhibit courage and tenacity in the process.  Then they are even more thankful when the tide turns their way and a good position is offered.  It is important to keep a positive attitude no matter what happens.
  • Terri
    Terri
    This article is a bit dishonest and in some eerie way it's encouraging. I have been seeking employment that offers some type of benefit package and not necessary in my "ideal" career path, just something to get my foot in the door so to speak, since December. I have experienced basically all the "solution" of dealing with no "real" work as described above. The horrid feelings are all too hard to ignore! Yet, on a day like today,this article has some strength for the unemployed. After all the frustration of burning gas and time I really don't have, I find the courage to keep trying to find a gig that will pay my living cost and the debt I acquired from obtaining a higher education and from being plain-a@@ broke!
  • Adam Chornesky
    Adam Chornesky
    Sometimes I feel the same way Rick does. I agree with Michael that you need to keep up your morale. I also look upon this period as one of rest, reflection, and an opportunity to explore other avenues of income. Being one dimensionally cast into the same career mold doesn't give you the opportunity to discover your other talents.Periods of unemployment underscore the need to maintain sufficient savings to cover these employment gaps.
  • Monique
    Monique
    I unfortunately fall under the circumstances of the worst. I was self employed and all of of a sudden, the money stopped coming. Now I have exhausted all of my funds, have no money for my rent. My lights will be off in less than a week. My water was turned off and so was my telephone. i sought help from family and they have all turned their backs on me. Not to mention, I'm a single mother of three small children. I spend many hours a day faxing and emailing resumes to no avail. I agree with the comment from the last post that the economy does SUCK and that I find it very difficult to be happy in job hunting when I don't know where our next meal is going to come from or where we will lay our heads. Obviously, the writer of this article has never been in the position that I'm in right now.
  • John
    John
    Well Rick, that's pretty much where I'm at.  As for focusing on family, my wife left me last year just before I lost my job.  I think I could get a gig elsewhere, but I don't want to live my dying Rust Belt city because my daughter lives here.  It's not much of a choice to starve yourself and nourish your soul by staying or starve you soul and get a job by leaving.  And then I'm told that I'm too negative in interviews.  Damn right I am, and well-earned, too.  I'd raise a toast to Adam Smith if I could afford the alcohol.
  • Pam Lester
    Pam Lester
    well, the article has some positive thoughts in it --- but this is America - when a person loses their job - most people don't have a stack of money in the bank - my husband just lost his job - we are in our late 50's - we had relocated for the job he took several years ago - we went into debt and we lived on premises so when the job was lost, everything was lost but..................everything happens for a reason and we know brighter days are ahead - because nothing remains the same forever.  Things will turn around for us and it will turn around for all those others out there looking for a job - steps are ordered..... and the jobs do come.
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