For those who find themselves unemployed and are trying to cope with negative feelings it is advisable to focus on what is truly important. Connect deeply with friends and family that are a part of your life. Discover a new hobby while seeking work. Consider taking a part time job that won’t make you rich but keeps you involved with other people. The initial setbacks that come from losing a steady and sizable income can be an inconvenience that can affect the self esteem. Do your best to remember that you are a decent human being that is merely facing an undesirable situation. As long as you still have enough food, clothing, shelter, and health you should be able to manage better than many people in the world.
Looking for a job and facing continuous rejection is quite a unique feeling. Signs of negative thinking can be seen when you just hope to hear a definite no from a potential employer instead of remaining quietly ignored by the companies that have thousands of applicants and only a few available positions. Typically after a few months of unsuccessful employment seeking the next phase moves to either acceptance of part time work or further rejection from jobs that may not hire you because you are overqualified. McDonald’s is more likely to hire a 16 year old kid that will be there for a while over a 30 year old college graduate former corporate worker suddenly finding themselves out of work. The employers know who can be utilized best, and someone who is overqualified will tend to leave a low end job the instant they are able to find a better position elsewhere.
When individuals reach the point of realizing that any savings, borrowing opportunities, and simple help from loved ones are no longer options for financial assistance a feeling of desperation can set in. If you do own any possessions of value it is time to sell in order to have money to live on. At the point of having no income to contribute it is essential that one uses their creativity to arrange living situations that may seriously reduce the cost of housing or rent. Speak with your current landlord or mortgage officer and see if there are any ways you can provide them with services while you look for work. They may be quite reasonable and sympathetic with your circumstances if you are honest and show them that you are sincerely trying to locate a job.
Luckily most job seekers will never quite reach the point where they are forced to sell every thing they own in order to make ends meet. Despite the vast amounts of competition in many fields there are always thousands of opportunities that need to be filled at any given moment in large cities. Continue to do your best to seek what you really want and do everything in your power to obtain the job goal of your dreams.
If the truly unfortunate moment arrives where you have no money, no job, and can’t afford to stay at the place you have been it is time to form another plan quickly. Hopefully most may have family and friends that they could stay with temporarily while trying to get back to some type of employment. If that is not an option one could seek government assistance, charitable donations, or arrange a deal with a local business to do remedial chores in exchange for food and shelter. This is the time when things may seem as if they will never get better and life itself may seem to be cruel. It is your responsibility to summon the courage to believe that things will get better through time and effort. Once one has sunk to horrid low points they will be able to gain a greater appreciation for the better times experienced and will have nothing but time to concentrate on how to achieve more for their lives. Although this scenario is not likely to happen to many the possibility exists for it to happen to virtually anyone if circumstances are difficult. Be compassionate to those experiencing adversity in the job hunt. Make every attempt to be able to show prospective employers your hope for the future instead of dwelling on past mistakes even in the most challenging parts of the job hunt. Eventually you should be rewarded with work again.
In order to prevent anything financially disastrous to take place it is best if one can accept less than pleasant job situations at certain times and keep attempting to improve current situations. By no means will this be an easy task, it may seem impossible to get the real job that is wanted at times, and one can easily be trapped by feelings of fear, doubt, and despair in times of unemployment or underemployment. Find the coping strategies that work best for you and keep moving toward opportunities that could provide for a better way of life. Good luck in your job hunting!
Coping With the Stages of Unemployment and Tough Times
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Guy •When you are in your 50's and are taking 'day jobs' that never get you over 40_hours and are at a rate that is the same you made ten years ago and you have been paying out the same prices as people who have steady work for almost two years... rough doesn't even begin to touch it. Two years ago, I left my job to go to school to train for 'heavy equipment operator' and when I got out, the housing industry totally dried up. Talk about 'great timing'! Trying to keep 'self esteme' is a 'full time job'! -
Brenda •I have found myself in the growning pool of the floundering unemployed. Being in my middle 50's makes the job hunting only more depressing. I've lost my health insurance, so now I have to bear the burden of a 400.00 a month RX. price tag. Where is the help for all of us who have worked our whole life? No one seems to care.
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MARLENE •I WILL SAY THIS ARTICLE ARRIVED IN MY E-MAIL TODAY!!! WHAT A TRUE HELP...AS I LET THE TEARS OF FRUSTRATION FALL!!! MY HUSBAND AND I MOVED BECAUSE OF HIS JOB IN JUNE OF THIS YEAR (WHICH IS A TEACHER IN A CHRISTIAN SCHOOL). I WORKED AS HIS AIDE AND THIS YEAR THEY CAN'T UTILIZE ME. SO I PLANNED TO GET A JOB. PLANNED...IS THE BIG KEY WORD!!! I DID NOT KNOW HOW BAD THE ECONOMY WAS UNTIL WE FACED IT HEAD ON WITH ONLY HIS INCOME (WHICH IS NOT MUCH)TO PAY OUR BILLS AND TRY NOT TO BEG AND BORROW FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS...WE HAVE FACED MANY TRIALS,BUT WORRYING ABOUT WHERE FOOD, MONEY FOR GAS, AND JUST THE EVERY DAY BILLS WILL COME FROM AND PRAYING YOU DON'T GET SICK...IS SOMETHING I TRULY WAS NOT PREPARED FOR. I FILL OUT APPLICATION AFTER APPLICATION AND NOTHING...I AM SO FRUSTRATED...AND TIRED OF LOOKING...AND YET YOU MUST CONTINUE TO... FOR YOUR CHILDREN, SPOUSE AND YES, EVEN YOURSELF. I WONDER WHEN I WILL GET THE JOB INTERVIEW, A PHONE CALL, OR JUST A NOTIFICATION TO SAY "WE'RE NOT INTERESTED"??? I KNOW THIS IS JUST A SHORT TRIAL, BUT ONE I KNOW IN WHICH DISCOURAGES AND CAUSES A LOT OF DEPRESSION. I APPLIED FOR UNEMPLOYMENT 3 WEEKS AGO, BUT BECAUSE I WORKED FOR A NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION THAT EVIDENTLY DIDN'T PAY INTO THIS I GET NOTHING...THIS HAS BEEN AN EYE-OPENER FOR MY HUSBAND AND I. WE NEVER HAD A LOT BUT WE NEVER HAD TO WORRY ABOUT "WHAT DO WE BUY WITH THIS DOLLAR?" I WISH EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU GOOD LUCK AND PLEASE KNOW OTHERS ARE GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING...DOES IT HELP??? NOT REALLY...BUT WE ARE...I WILL PRAY FOR EACH AND EVERYONE WHO ARE STRUGGLING THROUGH THIS MESS AND YES WE WILL WIN... :)
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Kathy Martellucci •I too have been unemployed since Dec. 2008 and here we are at Sept 2009. I have sent out hundreds of resume's in any job offering that I may even remotely qualify for and have only had 2 phone interviews and 1 face to face. I also fall into the over 50 crowd and am single and sole provider for myself. All I see for jobs are low paying or part time ( which unemployment takes $$ dollar for dollar ). Even though the article tries to show the positive side, I agree that as humans we can only take so much before the ball starts rolling...no job, no prospects, stress and bad health and no benefits because of no job. I have good and bad days. I try to pick myself up and be more assertive, positive, etc. but the reality is all but clear as far as the job market goes. Listen to the news - just this morning 14.5 million people unemployed, 2.5 million jobs available (and how many are p/t or low pay or temporary?) Its like trying to be positive that sunny days are ahead while the storm is around you. The options only last for so long. I also thought of some of the advice on landlords, bill collectors, etc were not realistic! My landlord doesn't barter for rent, he wants cash, as do the utility companies,they're having it hard, too and running a business. This is a vicious cycle.
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Carol •Positive attitude? I'm glad to have read some of the postings here.. I see I am not out there alone. I've been out of work for 8 mos, husband is too, and I'm 59 Yrs old. My house is worth half of what we paid for it, so selling is not an option. My retirement account has been halved, and is not enough to live for a short time on. I've been volunteering with various companies, hoping a job would open up. My attitude has turned decidedly dark.
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Kelly •I feel the way Monique does. I have a two degrees, unemployed, and have been job searching for 6 months. There is no aid for women in Monique's and my situation, especially if you made close to 50 grand LAST year, and you are in good health. I have no health or dental insurance, no family to lean on, and when things are done, they're done. This is the reality of single unemployed women who are overqualified, yet want to work. We are driven and successful, but the government only helps the uneducated and destitute, not hard working single moms with experience and education.
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Abby •I too am in the lowest of low positions. I lost my job about a year ago-just lost my apt-I was very honest with my landlord(he evicted me anyway without trying to work something out) and now I am stuck in living conditions that are already becoming too much to handle. I also have a pet that I did not abandon. (please DO NOT abandon your pets if possible) it's not their faults that bad things happen to us good people. They will be a ray of light on all your bad days-believe me I know. I need advice or something from anyone because I have been trying for so long now sending email and faxing to at least ten to fifteen jobs a week. I am trying to find anything I can but to no avail. I have been in the workforce for twenty one years and I have never had this much difficulty. How can I not start to take things personally-a gas station won't even higher me for part time cashier work? How is it going to get better? Where is the hope? I will never give up of course but I just wanted everyone to know we are not alone. Try to hang in there something's gotta give soon. We are great people stuck in a very bad situation. Let's just try to keep beleiving that everything does happen for a reason. I am praying for all of us. KEEP HOPE ALIVE!!!:)
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Bill B •It is a sad economy, and the fact that so many are experiencing addt'l difficulty with the "hidden" age discrimination makes it doubly difficult. I also have a story - I've been laid-off 8 times in my career, which counts mergers, new ownerships, shifts in headquarters as well as (most recently) the economy. 8 times! Wow - I wish I was a bad employee or manager - I could understand it, but that is not the case - good reviews, raises, excellent references. I am now approaching 63 years old. I have put away enough to be able to survive an early retirement, which more and more is seeming imminent. Be hopeful, everyone - and upbeat. A prospective employer can see your desperation or depression if you let it show. As long as you are looking to obtain a spot, you must treat an opportunity as the next best stage in your life, and put all that you have into the contact, whatever it is. The article advises similar. I feel your pain, and it is in fact exacerbated by the "hidden" illegal age discrimination. We can't change that, we can only hang on, and make it better if we can, in any way that we can. Good luck all.
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Steve B •I've read the article and right away could see that the author does not have a true grasp of the unemployment issue. Many of the comment writers seem to agree. The hard part of being unemployed is the loss of dignity and hope. We didn't have a large savings to draw from and it wasn't long before our family turned to the help from government agencies, churches, community organizations, etc. Our families could offer limited help for a short time only as could friends. For me to awaken each day early in the morning and begin the task of searching hundreds of job sites and sources, sending out numerous resumes, filling out long and tedious "on line applications" (a horrible and impersonal experience by the way!)and calling my decreasing network of connections was exhausting and depressing. I spent 15 months on my last search and quickly found that I was applying for any and every job that I was qualified for. Being continually turned down for menial jobs at low pay played havoc on my enthusiasm. I quickly began to feel useless and unworthy to return to the workforce. Yes, I'm a Boomer, too and age does certainly make a difference to employers. Please don't gloss over the emotional upheaval one experiences during a prolonged period of unemployment. The financial devastion alone drove me into a deep clinical depression that took several months of therapy to overcome. Utility companies will only wait a short period before they will turn off the service. They are only interested in those who can make some sort of payment arrangements. We received food stamps but they didn't pay for paper goods (toilet paper), hygiene supplies (soap, detergent, deordorant, etc.) or other non-food essentials. It takes precious gasoline to keep traveling around to food banks to fill in the gap. It takes an enormous amount of fuel to spend time "cold-calling" businesses in hope of an interview (rarely obtained-most often I was given an application, told to fill it out and thanked). It takes money to run a household no matter how much is cut back and the lack of income makes it impossible to continue. I finally found a job which lasted 4 months before I was again laid off for lack of work. Fortunately, I was only out of work 2 months this time before our neighborhood grocer agreed to find part time work for me. In my 60 years of life, I have never felt like "giving up" except for this long period of unemployment. Only the love for and from my wife and children keep me going each day.
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william neumann •I have just read through all of these posts and must admit the common thread of hope. When all is said and done, not only is this all we have, but in realty, it is all we need! We must not only have faith (belief), but we must have TRUST (knowledge). This is the critical "leap of faith" we must all take. This is extremely difficult to do but is absolutely necessary if we are to rise above the insanity and confusion.
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Pat C •I think the article is well worth reading. As it points out negativity shows. Employers don't want to see that. Yes, one of your most valuable assets is your network. I was laid off 3 years ago. I felt worthless, I was able to start my own business. I know that not everyone would have that option. It has been no bed of roses, as my husband is self-employed in construction and the market has collapsed. Therefore, leaving us with limited income. We are going through tough times, my business is resume writing, no one can afford to have professional resume services provided where I live. I provide computer training no one can afford classes because they have no money to spend on their future. I still have faith. Unemployment is one of the hardest positions you will have ever filled, it is a full-time position without pay. Attitude is your number one adjustment, if you have a bad one you need to change. In a local survey of employers I found that ATTITUDE was the number one trait they observed before offering positions.
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KRSF •OOOPS! Yes, I just caught the typo in my last post. Guess I'd better work on "Attention to Detail." That can be "extremely" important.
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KRSF •Does anyone else out there have trouble finding "safety" work? I'm willing to do anything, but that doesn't mean I can. I am extremlely well-educated, but just lost a minimum wage job in the cash office of a clothing store because I just couldn't do the work fast enough. It seems like a lot of these jobs take a certain physical and mental quickness I don't have, despite my alleged intelligence. I would like to find a way around this. Suggestions, anyone?
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My situation mirror's Ralph. With 20+ years in the legal industry (commercial real estate - OUCH!), 110% day in/day out...back to school? Sure, why not - love to? Show me the money and will! Overqualified. 500 plus resumes emailed since February, 2 telephone interviews, 1 face/face interview. Trying to keep motivated, but it certainly is taking it's toll.
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Debra Breakstone •I'm 54 and laid off in February and have had 1 interview (in which I didn't get the job). Did I make too much? Am I too old? These are the thoughts that run through my mind...but it is what it is. I worked 23 years at my last two jobs so, as you can see, I don't like change. It's hard to stay positive but I'm trying.Someone wrote about not being negative...and in my interview, when I was told I didn't get it, I asked her what she noticed that I could change for my next interview. She told me that she felt some 'bitterness' when I spoke of my previous employer. duh! I am bitter...but now at least I know I have to work on that for the next interview...which I hope won't be another 5 months down the road.Good luck to everyone...we are not alone that's for sure...and it definitely is a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs.
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Kristine Phillips •UNEMPLOYED WORKERS UNITE! If we could get all the unemployed people together in our cities and counties, we can create our own jobs. At least that is what I think we need to do.
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Lisa Johnson •I agree with Denny, (Ironically, that is my maiden name), anyway. Bad, terrible things happen to good & loving people every secoond of every single day! My "bad" luck (if you will) started when we found my 19 year old son dead in his room from an overdose of H, 3 months after that, an out-of-towner from Arizona was making an ILLEGAL left turn out of a drug store (yes, it was within 2 miles of my home) and stopped right in the middle of the turning lane, where I was appraoching a GREEN turning light, my beautiful, fully paid for and reliable Camaro was totalled! Nowadays I drive an old Cavalier with 172,000 plus miles on it. Every other week, something major goes wrong. Brake system, exhaust system, The latest was the cooling fan motor for the engine that keeps it from overheating)5 months after I lost my car, I suffered a Heart attack & triple bypass at the age of 42! STRESS WILL KILL YOU, PEOPLE! That and Broken Hearts. What makes that worse is that at the time of the Heart attack I only had 2 more semesters left to becomming an RN (my life-long dream). OK.... so plan B...After sitting around for a year in a deep depression and seriously considering suicide, I took one more chance and went back to school to become a Medical Assistant. I graduated with honors (perfect 4.0 GPA), and elected Class President. I was able to find a job, straight out of school within 1 month in March of 2008.I am now unemployed (1 week this past Friday) through no fault of my own, because I saw it coming, I have been searching & applying for the past 3 months, with NO results. I often stop and ask myself..."Why?", I have had such a hard time throughout life. I was abused as a child, but broke the cycle of abuse with my 2 sons (my living son just has his own house built at the age of 24 and is going to school ,part-time for his Master's Degree in Mechanical Engineering while working full-time as the same, but with a Bachelor's Degree (both sons were raised exactly the same way, with love & kindness & NO ABUSE of any kind. I am rapidly losing faith & hope. My finace, whom I love dearly fell 3 stories at the age of 30 and 8 years later started collecting a mere 600 per month (that's 20 a day) in SSI. I believe in God and that everything happens for a reason, but I am looking for the goodness in anything right now and I can't see much. Our savings consists of about 2,000.00, which will go rapidly on bills.........Hey, Let's just pray for one another and for all of the people who feel the way I do right now. God Loves us and wants the best for us. But, we just have to do the leg work. Right?
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Mary •Thanks for the article, as it is another reminder that we do need to stay positive. I have been out of work for 7 weeks, and have sent out 80+ resumes, with no response. So I know how difficult it is to maintain that attitude. The article is right; do connect with those people. They may just surprise you; and right now, we can all use some "surprises". Good luck to everyone.
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Gene Dummer •This is a comment for Henry who presently has his Masters Degree win Electrical Engineering. I have been in the Electrical Engineering market for thirty five years with only an Associate degree. Like Henry, I have also lost my job, and am 62 years old. My job search has turned up several jobs which I am not qualified for, but Henry might. If there is a way for him to contact me, maybe we can swap information for available jobs.
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Dan •After workig for the last 15 years without being unemployed it is such a shock to the mental and physical state of a person's mind to be in the state of being unemployed. I was a field engineer and traveled 80% of the time and was pulling down a 6 figure income for the last 5 years. I dont understand why states have such a difference in their unemployment insurance wages. for example the state of Washington has a max pay of $500+ a week for unemployment insurance, while the state I live in is $240 a week. Why cant the Government standarize this wage to be more realisitic? I have sent in over 50 applications in the last month and have only had 2 phone interviews and 1 in person interview. The state of the economy is in bad shape and who knows when it will get better. I have had my utilities turned off, credit cards cancelled, automobile repossessed. Remaining optomisitc is hard, but you have to wake up each morning and keep on breathing, who knows what the day might bring. Nothing in life is a sure bet except taxes and death. The article is true in a lot of ways and least we forget there are a lot more people out there that are worse of than we are. I count my blessings each day that I am healthy and still able to get out of bed each morning and look for a job. It sucks to be unemployed, no doubt, but I have hope that soon it will turn around. God bless all of you and good luck.
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M. A. •As a woman, and usually the last into a position having started my career late, I have been one of the first released for every recession...this is not new to me...just longer and less hopeful. As a boomer I am ready to get out of the musical chair game...there has been every level of game played by HR that could crush a soul if you let it. I would like to offer hope but I am flat out and will just retire out of the everyday, regular work-a-day job. There are no jobs and people are being called for interviews to make it seem like there are jobs. I don't want to fish in polluted waters anymore...it is time to take a different direction. Some are chosing to work for money without a w2, some are bartering and selling, it is unclear what the future will bring.
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Ralph •All these comments are very similar but,when one is forced into an early retirement and is living on a fixed income and/or Unemployment compensation,there just isn't enough money to go around. I have taken Temp. agency jobs that have lasted anywhere from three days to three months. I have sent out a hundred or so resumes,and have only got one interview,that was through an agency anyway ,I knew I was qualified.I've done that job for twenty three years,but still no job. Employers want someone that is qualified at twenty five or more dollars an hour and hire them for eight dollars an hour. Because of my pension, Employment Security reduces my check I get from them. When I take a temp. job,it sometimes gives me a net pay that is less or barely more than the unemployment check. I can't get any training, or on the job training, or any programs for a veteran to take a college course to better myself, nor can I get any State or other funding for college. So how in the world am I supposed to better myself? It's not that I am not willing to take a course, but rather that I can't afford to take a course and better myself. Also because of the corporate GREED I have lost just about all of my 401K that was supposed to help live out my days with dignity. Stay positive? How? Any sugestions?
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Steve •This article struck me as odd in some ways but hit home hard in several other ways. Here it is the middle of March 2009 and I still have not yet found a job, more than a year and I am still searching. At least I do not have the day to day pressure of finding money to pay bills. I am still staying above water and believe that I can continue to do so for a good while longer, if needed. I do really hope not though, because I am now finding myself really missing the daily human contact an office/job brings to one's life. Even more so, I think my dogs are getting really tired of hearing about International Monitary Policy, the Dow, the economy crash, stupid HR people and the crazy things people are doing these days to fix our country's so very basic credit and economic problems. A bit of good LINEAR THINKING would be a very welcome thing to see from ANYBODY in Washington DC these days!Being a Former Executive/Boomer out of work in this economy sucks! Bob talks about the discrimination that he feels as a Boomer in his comments above. I will second his comments strongly. Quite honestly, I am really amazed at some of the statements I have heard "Professional" HR people make, directly to me as talking points in interviews. How slow or uninformed about age discrimination issues are they? Do they just not really care because they know they are going to get away with it about 99+% of the time in today's job market? Why would I bother even looking at their job? Well, beyond the fact that I AM looking for a job and I do have GOOD skills and experience that exactly match what they are looking for, in the town where I want to stay and live (can't sell a high end house here now, even if I wanted to do so, no buyers), I also have looked at and researched their job (prior to my interview) and know it is something that I can and would like to do now, today, next week and the next and the next. Do they really believe that ALL Boomers just want a position where they can retire on the job for a few years or so? Do you know any Boomers out there looking for that position? I sure don't and I would be surprised if I ever came across any Boomer looking for an executive position that would ever admit, or even consider, such a dispicable thought or action! Come on now, most of us are honest, hard working people and have been for all of our lives. Don't they know that WE would not think it fair to an employer not to give a full days work ++, each and every day, IF WE JUST MIGHT BE ALLOWED TO DO SO by this omnipotent, but far less than trained or skilled, HR screener person? ANOTHER OME - Don't I know that nobody will pay me even close to the amount of money I made at my last job? Since when did the interview process BEGIN with a salary discussion issue? AND, yes I do know that if I really wanted to make that kind of money again AND I was willing to pay the human toll of travel and time out and alone again, I could go back and do it again sometime. But, maybe there are other reasons or I just want to change my lifestyle now and thus I am willing to dicuss what is reasonable for the job you have offered and to be reasonable IF I AM REALLY OFFERED THE POSITION! OR, do I really have to say that I sold that company and I have a non-compete in that industry? It does clearly say and explain that fact and issue boldly in my resume, right there in the body of information about my LAST JOB. Didn't you already read my resume, or are you just lazy, floating, getting by, flying blind or just completely, overtly and stupidly showing me and the rest of the world that you are arrogantly using age discrimination as a tactic? Do you even understand what I am saying to you when I tell you that now I DO NOT to want to travel 11+ months a year, like I did for the previous 25 years for my last job? I am not even asking nor am I firm on NO TRAVEL, I am just looking for something with a more reasonable and lower percentage of travel now! Can't you understand that or is your head stuck so deep in the sand that you can't even take a few seconds of your precious time to relate and give each and EVERY interview real professional thought and consideration, even if it is "Just another old guy!" It sure seems to me that there is some very real age discrimination going on in some companies. Not ALL Companies, some go out of their way to be courteous and helpful, even if they do not offer you the job. Thus, even if they are praticing age discrimination in a very subtle manner in their hiring practices, you just cannot be angry with them because they are just so NICE about it. And, there really are a lot of good companies out there honestly looking for good workers OF ANY AGE. We just have to go out and find them and that is more difficult now than it has been in past times, I feel. SO PLEASE, just don't be like the VP Marketing when he told me "I cannot hire you. You can do MY job!" Come on folks, business executives are supposed to be smarter than that, aren't th...
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Ken Garwick •Well, sooo much for networking. My work the past 7 years left me with no network. I was laid off November 17 at 62 years old. I have been applying to everything I am remotely qualified for. To date I have had several phone interviews but haven't gotten to the face to face interview yet. I have simply had to forget anything and everything relating to age in order to move forward and this has helped me in the search. I know it is only a matter of time before I land a position so I just do the best I can every day to move forward with the process.
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Ernest Roberts •As a psychologist, I encourage my clients who are unemployed to look at unemployment as a grief process and reflect on the stages of grief. The stages are as follows: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Husbands and wives affected by unemployment may not follow the sequences together because men get their core identity from their work. Women typically get their identities from their families.
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